The Woolleys

Technical Difficulties...

2010-12-22T11:05:00.000-06:00

I have gotten several emails lately from people that said they never got my invite to the new blog. I am not sure what happened, since I thought that I had replied to everyone that requested to follow us.

If you did not get your invite with the new address, please email me at jwoolley513@me.com and I will make sure to resend it.

So sorry!

I should win an award

2010-10-19T08:23:00.001-05:00

an award for being the worst blogger ever.

I have completely fallen out of the blog world- haven't even hardly read blogs for a while, much less actually take the time to comment on them. In the process, I am sure that I have lost most of my blog readers.

And now Bloglines is closing and I am going to lose all my links- so I am SERIOUSLY going to have a hard time then. (suggestions?)

Also, to be completely honest... I am a little afraid of posting anymore. The burglars got my computer and accessed the cookies to get my credit card information, so does that mean they are reading my blog that is bookmarked, too? I am sure that they don't really care about the goings-on of our life, but I still don't want them to know any more about me than they already do.

So, for that and a few other reasons, I am thinking about shutting down this blog completely.

And yet, God is moving in our lives and we have news to share. I want to continue to document our journey for myself, for Holland and for the child that God will someday bless us with.

So here is the plan...
I am going to delete this blog completely.

Though it has been a blessing to me in many ways, it has also been a source of hurt at times. I know that there are people reading that I certainly never expected to. While the majority of readers love us and support us in ways that we could never expect, there is a small portion of people that have used the feelings that I have shared to hurt me. So, I will have it printed for my own keeping, but then will take it down.

And then I am going to start a new blog for a new chapter in our lives. Curious enough about what that is to want to follow me to the new blog?

If so, please send me an email (jwoolley513@me.com) or comment on this post. I am going to make the new blog private, so I will need to send you an invite to read it. I know that is a pain and I often slack in reading my friends' private blogs, because of that extra step it takes to sign in. But I just don't feel like I have any other choice. Leave me the email address that you use to sign in for private blogs. And if you are a blogger, will you please leave your link? I am going to have to set up some other list, once my Blogger is gone and I want to make sure that you are on it.

The break-in

2010-09-23T09:59:00.000-05:00

One of my biggest fears has always been for my home to burn down.

I don't know why I am so fearful of this. But, the thought of losing irreplaceable memories just makes me sick.

On Monday, I was at work and I got a call from a neighbor, but I was with a patient and did not answer. But then another neighbor called just after that. My heart stopped. I just knew that my house was burning to the ground. The crockpot that we left on had malfunctioned and every memory was turning into a pile of ashes. I could just see it.

I answered the phone "Is my house burning down?"

"No, but the police are here. You house has been broken into."

Oh. Just a break-in.

Wait.... Just a break-in? Someone was in my home? Did they destroy it? Did they take my computer and hard drive with all of my pictures? Did they take my mom's jewelry? Oh no!

My co-workers were amazing and helped me quickly leave so that I could rush home and meet Rusty and the police. I called Erica as I drove. I don't know what I expected her to do, but at this point I had hit total panic mode.

I never, ever thought that I would be so upset about a break-in. Until it happened to me.

Yes, I am glad that we were not home. Yes, stuff can be replaced. I know it could have been much worse.

But, someone was in my home. In my bedroom. Standing on my furniture- helping themselves to things that we have worked very hard to attain.

Someone walked through my home with pictures of us and our loved ones staring back at them as they shopped among my belongings. They were surrounded by scriptures hanging on the wall. They even stole a radio that was sitting next to the Bible on Rusty's night stand.

They took a lot of things....

4 tvs

2 latoptops

wii, wii fit board and games

3 cameras with pictures on them (including my "real" camera and the new underwater one that we just bought for our trip to mexico)

ipod and wireless speaker transmitter

Bose ipod docking station

Rusty's watch

But most importantly, they took my sense of security in my own home. And that can never be replaced. There is no homeowner's policy to cover that.

The cops that came out were totally inappropriate, saying things like "Oh, they will come back. They see what else you have and know that insurance will pay you and you will replace the stuff." Thanks buddy. True or not, he succeeded in freaking me out. We are having all of the doors replaced with ones that cannot be kicked in. And our gate and doors are always locked now, with the alarm on. Always.

Also, when Rusty would tell them what was missing and the value of it, he would make remarks about "Who pays that much for a camera, watch, etc?" Saying, "You paid that for a watch? What do you do for a living, man?" They didn't take fingerprints. They acted like it was all a big joke.

They may do this every day, but I don't. This is kind of a big deal to me and they were not helping at all. Not even a little bit.

So, to answer the questions that we have gotten 100 times:

Yes, we have an alarm.

No, it was not set that day. However, we have been told that with a "smash and grab" type burglary like this, it often does not matter if you have an alarm. Sure, it is a deterrent, but often times it will not stop them. They know that they have several minutes before the alarm company can notify the police and that the police actually respond.

Our neighbor saw the crime happening and called the police. I truly believe that they probably responded quicker to that than they would have to "another" house alarm call that could very well be a false alarm.

The alarm would have notified the neighbors, but in this case, our neighbor was all over it- even without an alarm. Don't get me wrong, we will always have it set now. Our home is turning into Ft. Knox. But we were lucky this day that even though it was not set, our neighbor was alerted that something was wrong.

No, we do not know if we were targeted or not.

The car was caught on our neighbors security tapes circling the neighborhood 4 times prior to the burglary. We think that they were possibly scanning the neighborhood looking for a house that looked empty. They most likely rang the doorbell and when I did not answer, decided that it was safe to come in.

There was another burglary in the back of the neighborhood that day, but the homeowner did not find it until they returned home from work, so we don't know the timing or if it was the same people. Their front door was kicked in though and all they had stolen was a computer.

Yes, we have thought about the fact that we have had contractors in our home.

All of that work was done downstairs and the workers were never left alone. We do not have any reason to believe that they knew about our media room.

It could be totally random, that they just chose our house and hit "the mother load" once they made it to the media room. This seems to make sense since they did not head straight to the media room, but took stuff from the living room and bedroom too. Or it is possible that they saw the tvs from the road when the blinds were open. We just don't know. I have blogged about the media room before, so for all we know, it was one of you- my blog readers :)

The dogs were in the garage.

They broke in through our side door:

Which is now boarded up while we wait on it to be rebuilt. It's kind of unnerving, living like that. I am ready for it to be put back to normal.

The media room:

There used to be 5 tvs. Now there is one broken one, hanging upside down.

The footprints that they left from standing on my furniture covered in sheetrock dust.I don't know why this creeps me out so much, but it does.

A different cop came back the next day after I played vigilante (long story) and called them because I thought I had found the suspects! Anyway, he decided to take prints, so now our house has black powder all over it too!

Here is a picture of the vehicle that was caught by our neighbors security camera:

Everyone has been so extremely supportive during this week and I am so thankful for friends and family that are praying for our sense of security to return. Honestly, I really never thought it would bother me so much. I am surprised at how it has affected me.

Every day I feel a new emotion:

Monday, I felt helpless and victimized.

Tuesday, I was just mad.

Wednesday, my girlfriends took me out for a girls night and I laughed. It was all just funny.

Today, I am pretty much over it. I just want my home back. Oh, I don't want to pay our homeowner's insurance deductible. I mean, they rip me off and I still have to pay thousands of dollars to fix it? I don't really get that.

Jackson's 4th Birthday

2010-09-19T14:44:00.002-05:00

Last weekend, I went to Stillwater, Oklahoma to celebrate my nephew's 4th birthday!

Could he be any cuter?

While I was there, they took me to eat at Pop's, which is a really cool place out on Route 66.

Bottles of pop lined all of the walls of the restaurant

The next day, we went to eat lunch with my sister-in-law in her classroom, then went to play at a local park.

The BIG kids had fun too!

Jackson woke on his birthday to find Buzz and Woody in the kitchen with his gifts!

Then we headed to Oklahoma City for lunch at Chuck E. Cheese's before I had to fly home.

It was so great to get to be a part of this special day!

Introducing Nate Ryan Brothers

2010-08-25T19:04:00.001-05:00

In March of 2009, my bestie, Erica was blessed with an amazing little boy that she named Nate. For the last 17+ months, she and her husband Colin have been jumping through hoops and red tape to finalize their adoption.

During the process, she chose not to display any pictures of Nate on the internet, for his protection. And so, I have not been able to show off one of my favorite little boys in the whole wide world. But all that changes now.

Today, I had the honor of being in the courtroom as a judge declared what we have known since the day he entered their life: This little boy is their son. He is now officially a Brothers!!

So, I am happy to finally get to introduce to you

Nate Ryan Brothers

His name, Nate means "A gift from God"

Proud new parents

What a beautiful family!

Loved and spoiled rotten by his grandmas

And his Aunt Corrie

(I know this one doesn't have Nate in it, but I still had to share. It makes my heart happy every time I see the joy on Erica's face in this picture from Nate's Welcome Home party!)

And finally, the BIG DAY!!!!!

Many of you that read this blog know Erica and what she means to me. It sounds corny, but I know that I would not be who I am today without her friendship. She is one of the strongest, kindest, most generous, thoughtful and loving women that I have ever met. Her wisdom, laughter, sympathetic ear and friendship have guided me through my own journey, as I watch her travel her own. I am blessed beyond measure to have her in my life and to share this joy with her. She is an amazing mommy and to say that I am thrilled for her today, is the understatement of the year.

5th Anniversary

2010-08-21T11:23:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, we went to Cabo to celebrate our fifth anniversary. I am happy to report that the "Woolley luck" was not in effect and the trip went off with no complications and we had a wonderful time!

We stayed at an amazing resort, La Palmilla. It's definitely one of my favorite resorts ever.

It was a beautiful room with a balcony:

Every single detail was just so luxurious and we felt so pampered the whole time.

We had a personal butler who left us snacks and gifts, every day.

This was one of my favorite touches. I'm not sure why, but I just thought it was great!:

This was my favorite spot on the private beach:

This was my spot at the pool:

I am also a huge fan of cabana boys by the way. As I laid by the pool, they came by to bring me drinks, prop my legs with pillows, spray me with suntan lotion, bring me ice cream pops. Seriously. Does it get any better than that?

While Rusty played golf one day, I got a massage in this palapa. Listening to the ocean waves while being massaged was so wonderful. I was truly relaxed for the first time, in a long time.

One night we took a sunset cruise around Land's End. It was absolutely gorgeous!

Then we had a wonderful dinner at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse at the marina

I got Rusty to stand up on this rock to take a picture. I really did not have any ulterior motives. I did not anticipate what would happen next....

His clothes were soaked, but I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. It was worth the 30 minutes I spent drying his clothes with a hair dryer to get that shot.

Before our trip, we bought an underwater camera to get some fun shots. This was the best we could ever come up with though. I kept floating up!

Rusty wanted to go deep sea fishing in an attempt to catch a blue marlin. Every time we have gone, I have caught a bigger fish than him. Not this time! My tiny little Bonita:

My husband reeling in his catch:

A 250 pound blue marlin:

(Apparently this is a big deal, but I didn't know it at the time)

After about 45 minutes, Rusty and Fransisco won the fight and got the fish in the boat. What a beautiful, powerful creature!

Proudly displaying flags of our catches on the ride back to shore:

Our last night at the resort. We were already getting sad about leaving the next day, but enjoyed a beautiful sunset and dinner at the resort.

On the plane, coming home. So sad to leave paradise.

I'm already ready to go back!

She said "Yes"!

2010-07-31T13:16:00.004-05:00

Last night, I had the honor of taking pictures for a friend as he proposed to his girlfriend. It was so much fun to be in on the surprise, hiding around the corner and getting to witness her reaction!

My hiding spot:

These next two are my favorites:

The happy couple:

And on Monday, I will have the opportunity to take pictures for a dear friend as she gives birth to her second child! I was there for the first and now will be there again- just as I have been with so many other sweet friends.

I think that my favorite thing about photography is the chance to share in some of these beautiful moments with my friends! What a blessing to get to be a part of such special days!

It's DONE!!!!

2010-07-21T18:18:00.000-05:00

The construction is finally over and I am so thrilled with the result of our remodeling.

I LOVE the hardwood floors and my new cabinets!!

Now, I just need to figure out how to decorate the shelves...

And I have lots of rugs to buy to separate that brown furniture from the brown floors...

But I am just so happy to be back to "normal" again!

Progress doesn't stink.

2010-07-12T11:59:00.002-05:00

I was gonna say "Construction Stinks" just to keep it going. But let's face it, that could go on forever. It's time for some POSITIVE things!

We are making progress in the house! It's a little bit of a chaotic disaster over here right now, but by the end of the week, I should have a brand new house (ok, not a new house, but I do get to change a lot of things that I really wanted to!)

They came and cut out all the sheetrock last weekend. We were excited that they did not have to cut out as high as they thought they might have to.

Yesterday, Pablo came and put our walls back together again!

But another group came to tear up the floors.

This was my entry hall yesterday morning:

This was my entry hall last night:

And when my sister-in-law warned me that the house would be COVERED in white dust after they pulled up the tile, she was not joking! Thanks, Sally for convincing my husband to put up as much plastic as he did. Everything else is white!

But the most exciting part of all of this for me is NEW BUILT-IN CABINETS!!! (Am I officially old when I get excited about cabinets?)

If you have ever been in my home, I have told you the story of this terrible disaster, but if you have not heard the story, here is the short version:

I am an idiot.

I pay people in full before they finish the job.

Said people then disappear off the face of the planet.

These were the cabinets that we had:

They may not look terrible in pictures, but trust me when I tell you that they were pieces of junk and I learned a very expensive lesson.

So, I was so excited today to watch this happen:

As I write this, there is a real carpenter in my driveway building new cabinets! And on Thursday, they are coming to lay hardwood floors!

So, I won't even stress that my pretty little sitting room looks like this:

Or that the sink from the hall bath is in my kitchen:

Or that there is a toilet on my back porch.

Water stinks too.

2010-07-03T10:48:00.001-05:00

Starting to see a trend here? Man, I am a debbie downer. It seems like every post I write is a complaint of something going wrong in my life. Please don't read that into this post.

This is just another funny story about the adventures of Rusty and Jennifer Woolley. We just like to keep things interesting around here...

So, I have been begging my husband for a pool. If we are going to have to live in this hot city, I at least need a place to cool off. But before we committed to the investment of a pool, he wanted to see if I would actually use it.

He agreed to buy me this in the meantime, just to see how much use it would actually get. Sure, it was a little tacky, but we figured if we spent $200 and only used it for one summer, that would be better than putting in a pool and never using it!

Well, being the stellar construction genius' that we are, we did not realize that you cannot put the pool right into the corner of the house. Especially if you have our luck. Because if you do, you will get to use the pool for one day before a hurricane comes to Mexico bringing tons of rain to Houston. And with the pool right up against the brick, water will get trapped in the corner and flood into your house.

I came home yesterday afternoon to get ready for a July 4th weekend trip and found this:

And we spent our night doing this:

And now my house looks like this:

So the trip was cancelled, AGAIN.

We are living upstairs for now. The sheetrock guys are coming next week to pull out all of the wet sheetrock. Then that will have to air out for a week before we can rebuild and lay new floors.

We are not sure if insurance is going to cover this because it might be considered "flood", but we are praying that they do! Either way, I guess I get new floors out of the deal! :)

And I get a weekend at home to get caught up on my very long "To Do" list. I guess we just aren't meant to take any trips this summer!

Happy 4th, everyone! Hope your weekend is less eventful than ours!

Oil Stinks too.

2010-06-21T23:08:00.005-05:00

Right after we found out that our trip to Guatemala was canceled due to a volcano erupting, we heard that oil made it to shore in Gulf Shores, AL where we were scheduled to go the next week.

(Free tip of the day... If you like your town free of disaster, please refrain from inviting the Woolleys to come visit.)

We were not going to let the oil keep us from the tradition of family in Gulf Shores, so we packed up and headed out! Thankfully, we booked a house on the bay this year because it was the only one we could find that had an elevator, which we needed for one of our family members. It turned out to be a huge blessing because the bay was barricaded and stayed oil free! We were able to take our boat and keep it docked at the house. Though walks on the beach were a little bit oily, it really didn't affect our trip too much!

"My Blue Heaven"

The elevator in the house was such a blessing!

Campsite for clean-up workers

Tar balls on the beach

Tar clean up

Obama came to town while we were there to assess the damage.

This was my welcome for him that day.

We spent a lot of time together as a family, playing and relaxing!

Going to dinner:

Celebrating Birthdays:

Fishing:

Playing on the boat:

Playing High Nine and Scrabble:

Watching sunsets:

Eating:

Crab Claw Gumbo... or Toenail Soup (as I prefer to call it!)

We also took advantage of the opportunity to do a few family photos:

I tried to teach Addison about crabs living in shells ad how they move into a bigger shell when they outgrow theirs. She said "Tia, you are telling me a story!" So, we went and collected some crabs from the ocean. She loved watching them crawl around. So, what is a Tia supposed to do? I had to go buy her a crabitat and a little crab named Sebastian. But somehow Sebastian ended up coming home with me. In case you were wondering, crabs like to eat popcorn, hot dogs and grapes. I've learned more about hermit crabs then I ever cared to know.

The whole clan

All the girls

Volcanoes Stink.

2010-05-28T16:18:00.001-05:00

Bags packed, passports in hand, checked into flight and got surprisingly good seats, international service applied to phone... Ready to go.

We are supposed to be on our way to here right now:

But this happened and we had to cancel our trip.

The airport is shut down, the town is covered in ash, and the President has declared a "state of calamity."

Seriously, the volcano erupts the day before the Woolleys are coming? COME ON, GOD!!! What are you doing?

I know that I should be thankful that we are safe and that it didn't erupt while we were there. And I know that I should feel bad for all of the Guatemalans that were affected by this and trust me, I do. I am not completely selfish. But, right now I also feel a little sorry for myself and am very disappointed. I was really, really, really looking forward to it.

But, if we had been able to go, I would have missed this:

Congratulations to our dear friends, Kim and Robert!!! They welcomed their second son, William into the world today. We were worried that he might try to come while I was away, but because our trip was cancelled, I was able to be there! I had the honor of being with Kim during her labor and delivery, just like I was with his big brother. What an awesome privilege to share such a special day with this family! Love you guys!

SURPRISE!!!

2010-05-17T18:39:00.001-05:00

I have to begin this post by telling you how much I LOVE surprises. I think that it is so much fun to plan a surprise for someone- no matter how large the gesture- to make them feel loved.

Knowing this, Rusty has always been so good about trying to surprise me in our marriage. But for some reason, most of the time I find out about things before they happen. I don't mean to, but I do and then we are both disappointed that the surprise is ruined!

Well, this week- he finally got me. And he got me good.

On Thursday, I turned 30.

I have written about it before, but I have been stressing about that day for a long time. Something about being 30 with no baby just seemed like the end of the world to me. It was not a day that I was looking forward to.

But, I have the most amazing husband in the whole, wide world. He made my 30th birthday into an amazing week of memories that I will always treasure!

Starting last Saturday with Birthmothers Day, Rusty has made every single day special with a card and a gift. As he does every year, he took me on a trip to get away on Mother's Day weekend and we spent a few nights in New York City. He spoiled me with an ipad and some goodies from Williams Sonoma that I have been wanting. But that was just the beginning!

On Thursday night, he told me to be ready for dinner at 6:30. Wear something casual, he said. So, if we aren't going anywhere fancy, I assume that means that there are at least a group of people that are going to meet us and surprise me at dinner as that has kind of been Rusty's MO for the last few birthdays.

I walk into Chuys excited to see what 2 or 3 couples he has been able to get out to celebrate with us. But, as I turn the corner, I stop dead in my tracks. There aren't any friends there. But sitting at the bar was my cousin, Marlee that Rusty had flown in from Atlanta!! I was in shock and so excited! What a great surprise!

On Friday, Rusty had arranged for me to be off work. He made appointments for Marlee and I to get pedicures and then took us to Max's Wine Dive for dinner!

He told me that we had dinner plans on Saturday and that I could wear something a little dressier this time. Ok, this would be the night that he has the other couples meet and surprise us. I couldn't wait to find out where we were going and see who would show up to celebrate with me. I was guessing Melting Pot and 3 other couples.

Um, I could not have been more wrong.

We pulled up to Hotel Icon. A hotel? Ok. We checked in with the maitre d' at the restaurant in the lobby. Reservations for Woolley. "Well good evening, Mr. Woolley. We will seat you right away. Would you like to sit in the main dining room? We now have additional seating in the loft upstairs as well. It used to be our whiskey bar, but we have opened it up on the weekends for our dinner guests because of the beautiful views." Sure. Views sound good. Well, we must be the first ones here if someone is going to be meeting us. Oh, I hope this isn't another bust for Rusty. I know that he has tried so hard to surprise me.

We walked up stairs, past a beautiful candle lit room with flowers and cozy couches- a lounge to relax in after dinner, the maitre d' told us. Nice. We turned the corner into a softly lit room.

SURPRISE!

The room was FULL of friends and family. So many people that I love all in one room. And they were all there for me.

Every where I turned, there was someone else there that I loved. Friends from church. My former coworkers from L&D. Family who traveled to be there. Friends that I have had since Junior High. Friends that I inherited in the marriage. I just kept saying, "Really? YOU are here? Wow."

Honestly, I have never felt so loved. There are no words to express how overwhelmed I still feel. When we got ready to cut the cake, Rusty thanked everyone for being there. I wish I could have gathered my thoughts well enough to express what I was feeling at that moment. Instead of blubbering some incoherent thoughts I would have said more.

I would have let everyone know what an amazing husband I have and thanked him publicly for all that he has done for me, not just on birthday week, but every single day. He is my rock and my very best friend. He loves me in a way that I never thought I deserved to be loved. I am so blessed to be his wife.

I would have also thanked Erica. Oh my word, this girl is amazing. I did not know it at the time, but I am not surprised to hear about all of the time and work that she put into the night. There was not one detail that was neglected from the invitations to the planning and picking the venue, the amazing food and drinks to the white rose (my favorite!!) centerpieces that she handmade and the beautiful cake.She was the ultimate party planner- taking care of every detail and of me all night. I am so incredibly blessed to have this amazing woman in my life.

But mostly, I would have talked about how incredibly blessed I am. About how as I stood there, surrounded by so many loved ones, I was in awe of all that God has given me. Instead of feeling empty arms on my birthday, I felt a heart that was so full that it was overflowing.

Thank you to everyone that was there and that helped Rusty and Erica pull off this surprise. (And a special thanks to Brett for taking all of these photos, since I got NONE!) If anyone else has any photos, I would love to have them too!

It was an amazing night that I will never forget!!

So, I am not alone after all!

2010-05-04T18:04:00.002-05:00

I have often said that one of the greatest things that has come from this journey of infertility is the relationships that have been both formed or nurtured along the way. It has brought me closer to the Lord, to my husband and to many friends that share the burden of infertility. And I have made many new friendships that have blossomed from a common bond that we share- a desire to have a baby. I have been loved, supported, prayed for, encouraged and embraced by an amazing group of friends.

But, in the midst of a crowd of women that share that desire with me, I have often felt very alone and isolated.

Though our hurts, our disappointments, our pains and our pleas to Lord may sound the same, they are very different. We all have a different story, a different path that led us to where we are today.

And as a birthmom, my story is very different than any of the women around me. My pain is no greater, but it is different. I have never felt like there is anyone that could truly understand me or to support me in the grief and fear that I walk through.

Several weeks ago, Rusty and I had a conversation about being a birthmom that is now facing infertility. We pondered how rare that must be and wondered how many other birthmoms there are out there that are walking this same path. Rusty's guess was one in ten million. I laughed and told him that it wasn't that rare and that there had to be other birthmoms that have faced this. But, in my heart, I felt the burden of being very alone. If there is someone else out there, I certainly have never met her.

The very next morning, we were sitting in church and Rusty was reading the bulletin. He began to laugh and pointed out a section for me to read. It was a blurb about the adoption care ministry at our church. It described a class that would be held on May 2nd, called "A bithmother's perspective." The description said something to the effect of "come hear Jeannine Floores from Breath of Life Ministries, share her story of being both an birthmother and an adoptive mother. A special invitation is extended to all birthmothers." I couldn't believe it! God's sense of humor and timing never cease to amaze me.

On Sunday night, we attended that class. I was so blessed to meet Jeannine and hear her story of placing a baby for adoption, then facing infertility and adopting a beautiful son. Several years later, she and her husband "spontaneously conceived" (as we in the infertility world refer to it) another son. She now runs a beautiful ministry in Austin called Breath of Life, which is a ministry to women in unplanned pregnancies.

Hearing her story was so powerful for both Rusty and I. I sat in the back of the room and for the first time ever, heard someone share the same painful memories that I have. The same gut wrenching decisions. The same shame, same guilt, same fears, same pain. And the same hope. Hope for a better future for a child than what we could give. Hope of a relationship with that child after many years of being strangers.

When I got the chance to talk with Jeannine, I felt something that I have not felt from the day that we got our diagnosis of infertility.... I felt understood. She got it. She understood what I was saying without me having to explain my rationale. She finished my sentences. She really understood. I wish I could put into words how much comfort that brought me.

Her son also got up and spoke and I was so moved by the testimony of an adopted child. It was so emotional to hear him speak about his birthmother- the questions that he has about her and the hope that he has of someday having a relationship with her. As he spoke, all I could think of was my son. Will he have those same questions? Will he have that same desire to know me? Will I ever have the chance to tell him how much I love him?

Meeting Jeannine could not have come at a better time in my life. The last few months have been a trying time for Rusty and I, but a time of real growth and maturation. Our hearts have been opened to opportunities that we could have never imagined. We have been on a roller coaster of emotions as the Lord has begun to reveal parts of His plan and perfect timing to us. Yet, I am often impatient and get frustrated that I can still only see just glimpses of what He is doing. But, as He reminded me this week, through Jeannine:

His timing is always perfect. Always.

And I am never alone.

Things I have been too lazy to blog about

2010-05-02T11:17:00.000-05:00

Before I got the new job, I was only working a few shifts a month and sitting around eating Bon-Bons the rest of the time. So, although working full time is not a big deal to most, it has been a huge adjustment for me. Most days, I get up at 4:30am, so by the time I get home, I am just too lazy to blog. I can't even get the energy to read or comment on other blogs, much less post! My schedule is changing now though and I am going to 3 days a week, so I am hoping to re-join the land of the living soon.

Here are a few of the things that have happened during the last few weeks:

My sweet niece Addison turned 4 years old! I cannot believe how quickly she is growing!
We celebrated her big day with a Build A Bear party and some Chick-fil-A.

We bought a new boat since our other one is too big to fit in our garage. Unfortunately, this one did not fit either! But, we found a trailer repair place that was able to shorten the trailer for us and now it fits! It was a happy day!

And my man is happy!

Last weekend, I got to go on a girl's night with some sweet friends. We spent the night at the San Luis in Galveston. It was so nice to get a change of scenery, even if for only one night!

And yesterday, some girlfriends included me in a very special day. My friend, Jacque organized a day of moms treating themselves as an early mother's day gift. Some of the girls were pregnant, some have new babies, others have older kiddos, but they are all moms who deserved to be pampered! Jacque called to invite me and said that they wanted to honor me too, as a mother. I was so touched! We had a wonderful, relaxing morning at the Houstonian Spa and then a yummy lunch at Tiny Boxwoods. I can't believe that I didn't get any pictures! Thank you girls for including me. I was honored to be there with you guys!

And before you comment on all of the girl time I am getting, you should know that Rusty took a guys weekend a few weeks ago to go golfing in Lake Charles and is in Austin right now, staying at the Lakeway Resort, enjoying Lake Travis and some golf with his guy friends. So, don't feel too sorry for him.

The first few weeks of the new job have been very stressful for me. Though I love the job and feel sure that it was the right move for me, it is so far out of my comfort zone. I have so much to learn and it's hard to go to work and not feel confident. On top of that, I look like I am 12, so my patients always think that I am a brand new nurse and don't trust me until I tell them that I have been a nurse for 7 years and will be 30 this month! It's getting better though. Each day, I feel more and more confident. In fact, starting last Tuesday, I did not cry one day after I left work! That's big! I remember feeling this way when I started L&D though, so I know in time it will get easier.

My new coworkers have been so great and patient with me, which helps so much! This is my new friend and coworker, Shemika. She is a hoot and has been such a great help to me. In fact, I am pretty sure that we might have been sisters that were separated at birth.

I do miss my L&D friends though. And as I read about my friends recent birth stories, I feel a little sad that I am no longer a part of those special days. Could someone please come have some orthopedic or cardiac surgery so that I can be a part of your day?

Run for Compassion

2010-04-12T17:09:00.001-05:00

This weekend, I had the honor of being a part of the Run for Compassion in College Station. On Friday night, I drove up and stayed at the bustling race headquarters, which is also the home of Rusty and Jenn Bacak. They were so gracious to allow me to stay in their home and be a part of this amazing event!

This was the second annual Race for Compassion and it was a huge success! I really encourage you to take the time to click on the link and read Jenn's story about how this race idea was conceived. It is such a great story of God taking a small amount of resources and a willing and obedient heart to do BIG things!

Last year, they raised $4000 for the Child Survival Project through Compassion. Just one year later, with a second race, they were able to more than double that amount and raised $10,000 for this project! I can only imagine how quickly this will grow!

I am thrilled to get to be a part of this and see how God is working. I am so inspired by Jenn and her obedience to follow- even when the task is overwhelming! I know that He is going to continue to use her and this race in mighty ways and I am so excited to see what He has in store!

No more Rivals.com!

2010-04-12T16:57:00.000-05:00

Yea! I can see ME again! That was just the weirdest thing, ya'll. I still don't know what was going on with that whole Rivals.com thing. I even had Rusty look at it, just to prove that I wasn't completely crazy. It did the same thing for him, but he restarted the computer and it worked fine again. Weird.

The job is still going really well. Each day seems to get a little bit less stressful for me. After 2 weeks in PACU (the recovery room), I am going to start training in pre-op tomorrow. Hopefully after spending some time in both areas, I will have a good feel for which one suits me best. I have always thought that I will probably like pre-op better because I like the interaction with the patient so much. In PACU, they are sedated and then when they wake up, they are still not really themselves. I wanted to give the recovery room a fair shot before making up my mind, so hopefully I will soon have a better idea of where I want to be permanently.

We are still finishing up some of the details of our patio, but it is mostly finished. Though it is nothing fancy, I am so excited to have this space! I think that I will definitely enjoy having it when we have kids and I can sit outside and let them play.
Here are the before shots:

And here is what it looks like now:

It seems as if the Byrd family got some use out of it too, so I am happy that we had it done for them. She sent me a few pictures of their activities. This is my new boyfriend, Jackson. Could he be any cuter?

This is him on Easter Sunday... look at that suit! Just melts my heart! While they were staying with us, we went to dinner with them on night and when his mom took him to the bathroom, he asked her (about me), "Mommy, is she is a princess?" I just about died! He is going to be quite the ladies man!

What in the world?

2010-04-11T12:18:00.004-05:00

Is this some kind of practical joke?

Why in the world do I see the Rivals homepage when I go to my blog? Even when I sign in to blogger and go through my dashboard to my blog, it takes me to Rivals.com.

Can you guys see this post? Have I gone crazy?

Anyone? Anyone?

Way out of my element

2010-03-30T19:49:00.000-05:00

So, I started on the unit today. I wish that I could tell you that I got right in there and kicked some tail.

That's not how it happened.

I walked in at 7am with a nervous smile and donuts in my hand. (Hey, I will be the first to admit. I am NOT above bribery. Nurses love food. And if some sugar will make my new coworkers like me, it was worth the $7!) I was greeted with a shocking experience... literally. A 74 year old man having a cardioversion. They put the patient to sleep, shocked his heart into a normal rhythm and his body lept off the bed. Sure, I've seen it on ER all the time, but never in a laboring patient! Welcome to cardiac nursing!!

After that, I saw another cardioversion, some hip repairs, an elbow wound drainage, a knee repair, a femur repair, and some shoulder repairs.

None of them needed their cervix checked.

I felt so out of my element all day. It felt just like when I was in nursing school and had no clue about all that was going on around me. I just stood there watching the other nurses and looking for ways to help and feel useful. But, I didn't even know how to use the fancy thermometers that they have, so I couldn't even take a temperature! Over the course of the day, I found out that I did know how to clean equipment, get ice and fax orders. So, I did those three things to the best of my ability! :) I also tried to spend time with the patients, reassuring them as they woke from their anesthesia.

Once or twice today, I may have stood against the wall with my eyes as big as saucers. I may have said multiple times that "I want to go back to the pregnant women". I may have almost passed out mid-morning from the stress of it all and have to sit down and eat juice and crackers. But if I did that, I would certainly never tell you. That would be really embarrassing.

Did you think that I forgot how to blog?

2010-03-28T23:08:00.001-05:00

Well, I didn't. But, I was afraid that I might if I waited much longer.

Things have been pretty chaotic around the Woolley house for the last few weeks. Even though I had a little bit of a break between jobs, I seemed to be even more busy than ever.

Last Monday, I started at the new hospital and so far, things are going great! It has been a week full of nursing orientation, learning the computer system, etc., but I will get to start on my unit on Tuesday and I am so excited! I am nervous because it will be completely different and I have a lot to learn. But, so far everyone has been so welcoming.

In the midst of starting the new job, I also had several photo sessions, had a patio built (pictures to come), and got to spend some time with new and old friends.

But mostly, I have been getting our house prepared to rent it out again for the Shell Houston Open. Jonathan Byrd and his family are coming tomorrow and will be staying for the week. We spent the weekend cleaning and moved out tonight into a nearby hotel. Then, I found out today that they are also planning on hosting a Bible Study at our house for 25 PGA players and their families, led by the PGA Chaplain. No pressure, or anything! I am so glad that I didn't find out about it until today. Otherwise, I probably would have gone crazy with my shopping and decorating! They have invited us to come to the Bible study, so it will be interesting to see how it is to be in my own home and not be the hostess!

I will keep you posted and promise to be better about my blogging now that my life is starting to settle into my new routine.

Last Day!

2010-03-10T18:29:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was my last shift in labor and delivery. It was such an emotional roller coaster of a day for me.
I cried all the way to the hospital. I just couldn't believe that I was really taking this step.
But, by the time I left, I felt a great sense of relief. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I walked out feeling scared, but excited to see what is in store for me!

I know that to some of you, this might all seem fairly dramatic. You might be wondering what the big deal is about getting a new job. But, those of you who know me well, know what a heartbreaking decision this has been for me. Being a labor and delivery nurse was not just my job, but in many ways, my identity. God has used it in my life in huge ways as my ministry, my testimony, and my passion. Walking away from it is not a decision that was made lightly or without many hours of prayer and consideration.

I don't believe that the "grass is greener" on the other side. I don't think any job is going to be perfect or be without it's own stressors. But, I do believe that this is the healthiest choice for me at this time in my life. So, though I am sad to go, I am excited and trust that I will find a new passion!

A few pictures from my last day:
(As you can probably tell from the bags under my eyes, I didn't get much sleep the night before! There was a lot of tossing and turning about this decision!)

Ginger and baby (She let me scan her while she was there and find out if we are buying pink or blue)

It's a GIRL!!!

Even my buddy Kaden came to eat cake with us!

Theresa

Debbie

Sherri

Sandy

Victoria

Sheila

My sweet friend Linda could not come to the party, but surprised me by showing up earlier in the day with these beautiful flowers!

And to top it all off, my coworkers collected money and got me a gift certificate to my favorite restaurant! I am so blessed to have been a part of this team and am thankful for all that I learned during the years that I spent there, but most of all for the friendships that I formed!

No more Chemo!

2010-03-08T16:34:00.000-06:00

There is a tradition at MD Anderson that when you finish your last round of chemo, you ring a bell in celebration. It is a wonderful tradition that symbolizes victory, but also gives hope to all of the patients currently undergoing chemo. Above the bell, these words are inscribed:

“Ring this bell

Three times well,

Its toll to clearly say

My treatment’s done,

This course is run,

And I am on my way.”

Recently, Rusty's Aunt Nancy had the opportunity to ring that bell! Just days later, she celebrated a birthday! Yesterday, surprised her with a party and all had the opportunity to come together and celebrate her life and all that God is doing during this very difficult time.

Rusty's dad read a beautiful poem that he had written for his sister, we prayed over her, toasted her and then we all rang bells in celebration!

Though Nancy still has a long road ahead of her including surgery and radiation, we are praising God for that this part of the battle is behind her and trusting Him to provide her with strength and healing as she continues on this journey.

To be continued...

2010-03-01T20:10:00.000-06:00

I ended my last post by saying,

"These are the kind of days that make me really love my job...."

I used to simply refer to that punctuation as dot-dot-dot, which I have always assumed to mean "to be continued." When I finished my previous post, I did so with the intention of writing this post in the near future. I was going to tell you the "to be continued version" of that statement. I was going to tell you the ending of that story. But the truth is, I do not yet know what God has in store.

Because I am married to a man who knows everything about everything, I am now aware that this punctuation is called an ellipsis. When I looked it up in the dictionary, I found it's definition to be "an omission or suppression of parts of words or sentence." That's when I realized that's truly what my ellipsis was anyway, a suppression of words.

The words that I did not say were ones that you have heard before, but that I try not to say often. They are words that are hard for me to write because doing so makes me feel like I am weak.

But the truth is, the words that I omitted would have had said that those days of joy that make me love my job are few and far between lately.

I am honored to be a part of my friends' deliveries and overwhelmed by the significance of sharing that day with them. It reminds me of why I am Labor and Delivery nurse in the first place and makes me so grateful for the opportunity that God has given me to serve in that way. But, I used to feel that way most of the time, no matter who the patient was. I left most days feeling like I had made a difference in someone's life. But after three years of serving others as they grow their own families, while grieving the pain of infertility, I no longer have that joy. On the bad days, I have a hard time being gracious and kind. And on the good days, I have a hard time being sincerely happy for my patient. And I come home, emotionally drained, with nothing left to give to those around me.

Admitting that is so hard for me. It makes me feel weak and like I have failed. It has taken me a long time to come to a place where I can say that serving in that capacity is not the healthiest option for me or for my marriage.

I have spent many months praying about where to go from this realization. So many of you have joined me in that prayer and I cannot thank you enough for your support in that. There have been a lot of tears and time spent on my knees about this decision, but today I resigned from Labor and Delivery.

Though I know that this was the right decision for this season in my life, I still struggle with feeling like I am a quitter. And I am sad. I am leaving behind a group of people that have poured into my lives for the last six years. My coworkers have become an extended family to me. They have watched me grow both as a nurse and a woman. They embraced me when I moved here from Dallas, nursed me through a break-up, celebrated with me when I met and fell in love with Rusty, gave me opinions while planning a wedding, helped me learn how to be a wife, laughed with me, cried with me, supported me and taught me.

And some of you that read this, do so because we first met when you were my patient. What an honor to know you and now to call you my friend! I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to play that role in your life and am sad that I will not be there as you continue to grow your families! You know that I became an L&D nurse because of the experience that I had with my nurses when Holland was born. The first one was so cold and hateful, but then another nurse came in and was so compassionate and loving. She changed my whole experience for the positive! If I brought just one ounce of comfort or joy to your day, than I will have succeeded in my goal.

But here is the "to be continued" part of the story that I can share with you-

I have accepted a new job and will start work in a few weeks!

It is at a new hospital, where I will be a surgical pre-op and recovery nurse. My patients will be both orthopedic and cardiac patients. That means, women and men of all ages! I am a little scared because I will have so much to learn after caring for only women and babies since I graduated from nursing school 7 years ago! But, I am excited for the challenge and anxious to get back to a regular schedule (and paycheck!)

Right now, it is just a PRN position, but I will be able to move into a part-time position as soon as one opens up and will quality for insurance coverage. Why is this so exciting? Because this new insurace covers fertility costs!! After paying out of pocket for three years of infertility testing and two rounds of IVF, this is a huge blessing for us!

So, as I close one chapter in my life, I look forward to opening a new one! As always, thank you for journeying along beside us and loving us through our story. I don't know what is next, but I have read this author before and I trust that He has something up His sleeve. I hope that you stick around to find out what it is.

So blessed...

2010-02-26T09:10:00.006-06:00

On Monday, I was blessed to be a part of a beautiful birth day party. My sweet friends, Adam and Laura delivered their precious twins, Annabelle and Will.

I was honored that they wanted me to be there and would not have missed it for the world! I have been praying for these babies for a long time and am SO thankful that they are finally here!

Laura has been such a sweet encourager and prayer warrior for us over the past few years. I am blessed to have her in my life and call her my friend! I can't wait to watch these babies grow. She is going to be the best mommy ever.

These are the kind of days that make me really love my job....

Our weekend

2010-02-15T21:46:00.001-06:00

After a very emotional week that included Holland's 11th birthday and a trip to Austin to meet with the fertility doctor, Rusty and I spent the weekend in Round Top for our annual Sunday school class retreat. As always, it was a wonderful opportunity to spend some quality time together and get recharged. We feel so blessed to have this wonderful group of friends that have loved on us and encouraged us so much in the last 3 years.

I didn't get many photos of the weekend, but here is the traditional group shot in front of the lodge. Someone please comment and tell my husband that he doesn't look as bad as he thinks he does! Otherwise, I will be in real trouble for posting this:

And here are the beautiful flowers that Rusty gave me in honor of Holland's birthday:

I am so lucky to have such a wonderful man that loves me and honors me the way that he does.

I also feel so lucky to have such amazing friends and family. Thank you to each of you that reached out to me to let me know that you were praying for me that day. I cannot begin to tell you how much it meant to me to know that so many people were thinking of me and praying for Holland on that day! Someday, I hope that he knows how many people have loved and prayed for him throughout the years.

And thank you for your support regarding our appointment on Friday. Though we did not leave there with a particular plan of action, we did leave with a sense of peace. We still do not know yet how we will proceed, but we both felt a confirmation about the doctor that we have chosen. We are very confident that when we do choose to move forward, that we are in the right hands with this practice. Please continue to pray for clarity and for open doors.

Our Hope Endures

2010-02-04T16:26:00.005-06:00

Since all of my friends have fancy blog backgrounds and cute headers, I was feeling left out. I have been thinking about what I could do to change it up and wanted a title a little more original than "The Woolleys." As I have been thinking about it, the phrase "Our hope endures" just kept coming to my mind.

Over the past few years there have been several songs that have gotten a lot of play time on my ipod. I have included some those songs in a playlist (on the right side of the screen). "I will not be moved" by Natalie Grant has been somewhat of a theme song for me. It is the ringtone on my phone and I hear it multiple times each day. And every single time, I am inspired and reminded of my source of strength that is found in Christ.

"I will stumble

I will fall down

But I will not be moved

I will make mistakes

I will face heartache

But I will not be moved

On Christ the Solid Rock I stand

All other ground is sinking sand

I will not be moved"

No matter what I may face during the course of the day, no matter how badly I screw up or how badly others hurt me- my feet will stand firm. I cannot make it on my own, on the "sinking sand" of disappointments that this world will provide me with. But, with Him as my solid foundation, I can face anything.

The Ginny Owens song is a beautifully written lyric and the cry of my heart.

"I'm clinging to the promise

You're not through with me yet,

so if all of these trials bring me closer to you

Then I will walk through the fire

If You want me to"

The Sidewalk prophets song is my "Holland song." I still cannot listen to the words without crying.

"Three in the morning,

And I'm still awake,

So I picked up a pen and a page,

And I started writing,

Just what I'd say,

If we were face to face,

I'd tell you just what you mean to me,

I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the LORD and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

These are the words I would say"

There has been more than one night that I am up at 3 in the morning, writing letters to my son. I tell him all about me and how much I love him, but mostly I tell him what my prayers are for his life and for the man that I am praying for him to become. And I tell him of what I have learned about Christ and who I now know Him to be. I take great comfort in the fact that someday he might get the chance to read those letters. If he never wants to be a part of my life, I pray that he will at least have the chance to know my heart and to know how loved he is.

And on a tough day, when I am feeling sorry for myself, I will listen to another Natalie song that I love...
"Our hope endures."

"You would think only so much can go wrong

Calamity only strikes once

And you assume that this one has suffered her share

Life will be kinder from here

Sometimes the sun stays hidden for years

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

When will it clear

But our hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake

Our hope is unchanged"

On days when I question what God is doing or if things will ever get easier for me, I listen to the words and am encouraged. When people question how I can still serve the God that I do after all that I have walked through, I think of the lyrics to this song. No matter what trials I have faced in this life, He has been faithful. He has blessed me with more than I could ever ask for. And no matter what I have yet to face, my hope is in Christ. Nothing that I can do on my own will get me through- it has been and will only be by the grace and mercy of Christ.

So as you continue to read this blog, know that this is not the story of the Woolleys or any brilliant plans that we have. This is a story of God's faithfulness to provide for our every need. In the good and the bad, our hope endures.

"Let the earth quake, our hope is unchanged!"

Surprise!!

2010-02-01T14:53:00.004-06:00

Happy Birthday, Erica!

Saturday night, we had a party to celebrate one of my favorite

people in the whole world, Erica!

It was a great night and I think that she was truly surprised and honored to have so many people gathered there to celebrate her! In my opinion, the best birthday gift that you can give someone is to let them know how much they are loved!

Tami made the cake for us and as always, it was delicious!

Thanks again, Tami! It turned out beautiful!

Today, I got to spend a little more time with Erica for a lunch date on her actual birthday. As I drove home, I couldn't help but think of her birthday just one year ago. She spent her day frantically making a scrapbook so that they could be considered for a possible placement. It seems like just yesterday that we were walking that road with her and Colin, praying and desperately asking God to provide them with a child. I was disappointed for them when each case did not work out.

But as always, God had bigger plans! The most amazing little boy was about to be born, just one month later. Their son, Nate- the child that God had planned for them long ago.

I am reminded again today of God's faithfulness. I often am disappointed and frustrated with God. I wonder what He is doing, why He isn't moving, why He doesn't work this out for me.

But, Nate is my gentle reminder. Without those other disappointments, we would have all missed out on being apart of this amazing little boy's life.

God does have big plans for us and His ways are better than ours. He is good, He is faithful, He knows our hearts and He hears out cries.

And even when I cannot see His hand, I am reminded that He is moving. My prayer is that I will be patient enough to wait for His best.

Haiti Update

2010-01-27T15:05:00.000-06:00

First of all, please let me tell you how much I appreciated every single comment on my last post. It was so encouraging to see so many people say that they are reading the blog! So, for now I am not going to make it private. That may change in the future, but I will let you know so that you can come along, if you so choose.

Also, I want to thank you for your support about the Haiti idea. I truly expected everyone to be on Team Rusty and think I was crazy for wanting to go. So far, I haven't found the right opportunity. I have been in contact with two different teams, but it just hasn't worked out for one reason or another. I have to admit that I pretty bummed right now. I was very disappointed when I found out that the second team wasn't going to work out. I really thought that it was the right team.

So, I have given my contact information to several organizations and now I am just waiting to get a call. Maybe I'm not supposed to go after all, I don't know! I just have to trust that if the right opportunity comes along, God will work out the details.

I am so blessed to have you praying for this opportunity. As I have looked into the details of going, I have become a little bit overwhelmed. It is a scary thing. But, I am still as excited to go. Other than the thought of no Diet Coke for a week! Maybe I should start weaning off them now, just in case! I sure am not going to be very useful to anyone if I am in withdrawal!

What's been going on...

2010-01-25T17:04:00.000-06:00

I apologize once again for the silence on the blog. Something happened this week that made me consider taking the blog down completely. I was reminded that this is really the world wide web and anyone who wants to, can read these words. Obviously, I knew that and have always chosen to write it anyway. But I have now decided that may not be the smartest thing to do. I don't know what I am going to do about it yet, but I am considering making it private. I am hesitant to do that though because I have made so many great friends through linking to blogs. It was the blogworld that introduced me to Erica and I just don't know what I would do without her friendship! And there are countless other beautiful women that I have connected with because blogs. Their support and encouragement has been such a blessing on this journey and I cannot imagine missing out on any one of those friendships. Plus, it's kind of a hassle to log in to read private blogs. How many of you would still read?

I haven't been working much lately... well, at all really. Maybe I am weak, but it is just too hard for me to do. This was my friend's facebook post last week. It pretty much sums up why I can't go to work anymore: "Triage patient from last night: 5' - 250#, 20 wks pg. came in for bleeding; just had sex with her lesbian partner, list of STDs a mile long, Medicaid. Because she is on Medicaid, she was apalled that she received a BILL from the hospital for an ER visit she made 2 wks earlier when she came in for "pressure". "Isn't... there somebody you could talk to for me?" she asked.These are the people we are dealing with..."

So, until I decide what to do with my life, I am just sitting around and eating Bon-Bons. You would think that this would give me a great opportunity to do something really productive, but I haven't. Thankfully, my new Kindle has been here to support me in my boredom. I have become quite the reader! I have also taken up yoga, but it's a beginner's class and so far, it has just been like being on an episode of Sit and Be Fit. I am hoping that they kick it up a notch soon.

Ever since the earthquake, I have had this nagging in my heart to go to Haiti and help with the disaster relief. I have read several articles that talk about the desperate need for medical support. Plus, I feel like this is the perfect time for me to go- I am not working and I have really been feeling sorry for myself lately. I think that this would be a great way for me to get some perspective on how good my life really is and serve some others that are hurtung in ways that I will never know. Rusty hasn't been too excited about the idea because of his concerns about safety and who I would go with. He is also concerned that I am going to come home with a baby in my carry-on. I am just so burdened for all of those sweet children that are now orphaned by this disaster. It just seems like a no brainer to me... these kids need parents. I need a baby. Why can't I just take one? I wish it were that easy....
Anyway, I have continued to nag Rusty and he agreed that I could look into it. I contacted the missions department at church to see if they have any groups that I could connect with. Today, I found a group that is going to Haiti on this SUNDAY and I have the opportunity to go with them! Obviously, we have a lot of info that needs to be gathered and this might not be the right group for me to go with, if at all. I am praying for clarity and for the right opportunity will come along, so that I can go and serve!

We went to the doctor last week and are currently waiting for more results. Then, we are scheduled to take those results and meet with the fertility doctor in Austin next month. This will hopefully be a time for us to sit down and come up with a game plan on how to proceed with treatments. I don't know quickly we start the process, but it will truly be in God's timing. I hope it is soon, but I have learned to trust that even if it isn't, He will provide!

Sanctity of Life Day

2010-01-17T20:55:00.000-06:00

January 17th.

I walked into the service this morning I couldn't help but think about how appropriate it was today that it is Sanctity of Life Sunday.

On this day, 11 years ago, I walked into New Life and met the parents that I had chosen for my child.

Months before, I had chosen to given my son physical life. Though I was scared out of my mind and had no idea what I was going to do, I knew that God did. I knew that no matter what the circumstances were that led to my pregnancy- God was bigger. There was a reason God allowed this pregnancy and God had a plan. He had created life and I was in no position to take it. I have my journal from the night I discovered that I was pregnant. I clearly remember being on my knees at my grandparents' house and writing these words, "Lord, I do not understand and I am so scared. But, I pray that no matter what happens, you will use this for your glory." And my mind was made up- this child would have a life.

But on January 17th, as I walked into New Life to meet his parents, I was choosing life again for Holland. A life that I was not prepared to give him. A life full of opportunity and security. A life that would never have him torn between homes. A mommy, daddy and big sister that all lived under one roof. A family.

Let me be honest... this was not my first choice for my child. It is not the first choice of any mother. Did I want to raise my son? Absolutely. Did I have the support of my family and the resources to do so? Sure. And I had more love to give than I could ever imagine my heart was capable of. But, that wasn't enough for my child. He deserved more. Even if it meant that my heart would break when I had to admit that I was not the one who could give that to him.

The day I met his mom was her 30th birthday. When you are 18, 30 seems so old. They already had a five year old at home, but I remember thinking "this poor woman- she is already 30 and still trying to have a baby. She has had to wait so long!"

Obviously, I realize now that 30 is not as old as it seemed to me then. Physically, I still have many years ahead of me. I get that. Trust me. I do not need anyone else to tell me. But from an emotional point, there is just something about turning 30, without a baby, that breaks my heart. And I will be 30 in just a few months.

11 years later, I do not regret my decision to give Holland life. I grieve every single day that I do not get to be a part of that life. But, I continue to trust that God has a plan for both Holland's life and for my own. I continue to pray the same prayer that I cried out to him that night on my knees. "Please Lord, use this for your glory."

Remembrance

2010-01-11T17:50:00.017-06:00

Last year for my birthday and mother's day, my parents gave me this beautiful remembrance ring. It is Holland's birthstone, an amethyst. I absolutely love this ring and have worn it every single day since I got it. Not that I need something to remind me of my sweet son, but every time I notice the ring on my finger, it reminds me of him. Sometimes I notice it while grasping the steering wheel as I drive. Sometimes it is when I am washing my hands or holding a book. No matter where I am, I take that minute to say a little prayer for his day, for his family, for his future.

I then decided that I wanted to get two more rings to go with the amethyst, a peridot for August and a tanzanite for December. All of the babies that I have lost would have been born in those two months. I wanted to recognize those babies as well because not a day passes that I don't think of them and grieve for them.

Soon after I got my ring, I had lunch with my friend Erica. We talked about the ring and I encouraged her that she needed to get one to celebrate her new baby, Nate. Then, she shared the idea with me that she would like to get two rings- one to symbolize Nate and a diamond one to symbolize her other babies that she had lost- her angels in Heaven. She asked if I thought that was silly. Silly? No way, I thought that it was beautiful! I absolutely loved the idea.

I have been wanting a diamond one ever since that day. One ring to symbolize all six of the babies that I never got the chance to hold.

Today, the doorbell rang and the UPS man gave me a package. It was a gift from my sweet husband. A beautiful diamond remembrance ring.

Now, every time I look down at my hand, I will not only say a prayer for Holland, but I will also think of my other children. I may not ever have the chance to hold them this side of Heaven, but they will never be forgotten.

And I cling to the hope that someday, I will be able to add another ring to my finger.

Did I lose all of my readers?

2010-01-05T17:19:00.001-06:00

I know that I haven't blogged in forever and I am sorry. Is anyone still reading?

I had two people just today get on to me for never posting the results of my biopsy. I just felt so dumb for ever posting about it in the first place that I decided not to do another whole post for what was a very expected outcome. The final report showed that there was no malignancy! (And came from the right tissue this time!!) I was not surprised to hear that, but I was still a little relieved to know that it was not anything to worry about. I will go back in 6 months to re-evaluate it, but that is pretty standard.

The holidays were a whirlwind of traveling and seemed to pass by quickly. We are home now though and settled back into our routine.

Our families were very understanding this year and respected our decision to go away for the holidays. We weren't quite sure where we wanted to go, but we just knew that being here in this empty house yet another year would be too hard. Well, I should say it was too hard for me. But, thankfully I have an amazing husband who was willing to sacrifice any of his own plans to whisk me away on a vacation. With as busy as he has been the last few weeks, it was also a great opportunity to spend some time and just enjoy being together.

We decided that since there was no specific place that we wanted to go, we would just be flexible and see what deals we could find as the week approached. We didn't even book our trip until just days before we left. We considered everywhere from Mexico, to California, to the Carolinas. But we ultimately decided to go to this hotel in Half Moon Bay, CA. It was absolutely as beautiful as the pictures online.

We decided to fly out of DFW because when we came back we stayed with our friends, Luke and Katie in Dallas. That way, the boys could ride to Shreveport for the aTm game together, while Katie, Emily and I hung out and had some girl time. Anyway, of course it has to snow that day. In typical Woolley fashion, our flight was delayed because our plane could not land in Dallas. The hotel in CA was paid for and non-refundable, so getting stuck in Dallas was going to be really crummy. It was truly a miracle when they announced that they found another plane and we were going to get to leave! After a few hours delay and some major de-icing, we were one of the last planes to leave before they closed down DFW for the rest of the day. We were so relieved to get in the air and shocked at our luck. Rusty said, "See, this trip is already starting off good. We are going to have a great time and it is going to all go our way this time."

Famous last words.

I will spare you the details, but every single thing seemed to go wrong after that. Some were very minor things, some were major things, but they all continued to pile up on each other and try to steal the joy of our trip. The hotel was beautiful, the scenery was breathtaking and the service was wonderful. We were together and we were healthy, so we tried to concentrate on all of those good things instead of worrying about all of the inconveniences.

One of the worst things that happened though was the first morning that we were there. Sometimes, when we are on vacation, I will ride in the cart while Rusty plays golf. I love to take pictures of the landscape while he plays. (Oh yeah, and spend time with my husband.) Rusty had a tee time and I wasn't going to go with him because I only brought jeans and we didn't think that I could wear those on the course. Before he walked out the door, he decided to call and check and he found out that I could ride after all. But, if I was going to go, I needed to go right then. So, I put on my shoes, threw my cameras in my purse and grabbed a bottle of water, which I also threw in my purse.

See where this is going yet?

When we got downstairs, I reached in my bag and felt wet. Really wet. I pulled everything out and dumped the water out of my purse. The whole bottle of water that my cameras had been floating in. My beloved camera. Even my back up point and shoot. I could have just thrown up right there on the nice valet man.

We rode around in the cart and I tried to air everything out, but neither camera would turn on. So, here we are driving a cart through a gorgeous golf course that sits on a cliff with breathtaking views of the coastline and the ocean and I couldn't take one picture. It was torture.

I tried to explain it to Rusty like this: Imagine that you go to Pebble Beach to play golf. You traveled all the way there, paid the green fee, went to all the trouble of traveling with your golf clubs. Then, when you get there, you are standing on the first tee box and all of your clubs break in half. You can't play. Even worse, you have to walk 18 holes and watch someone else play. My point was taken and he began to understand my pain.

So, I spent the whole trip just trying to enjoy the beautiful landscapes and try to etch them into my memory. The good news is that I had recently forced Rusty to carry a camera in his golf bag, so we did have one very archaic camera to work with. Also, we did get the point and shoot to start working and we were able to get a few more shots. I wasn't sure if they would turn out, but at least it was something. That is, until I left the point and shoot in the rental car when we returned to the airport.
After some very unnecessary, but unstoppable tears, the very nice Hertz man had someone drive the camera back to me. I have never been so thankful.

So, the short story made very long (sorry about that) is that in the end, it really was a beautiful vacation and I am so happy that we were able to get away together for a few days. Even if I wasn't able to document it the way that I would have liked.

The good news: When we came home, we tried my camera again and it seems to be working again!!!!!!! I was going to be so upset if we had to spend the money to replace it just because I made one careless mistake. Rusty said that it would have been one very expensive bottle of water!

This was the view out our window:

The view from the beach:

I had my very first wine tasting at the Thomas Fogarty Vineyard:

And my first In and Out burger:

(It was a good burger, but I gotta say that I don't understand what all the hype is about. It wasn't that good.)

We stopped to see the Golden Gate bridge on our way to the airport, but I was just annoyed by all the tourists that had nice, big cameras.

We flew back to Dallas and Rusty went to the bowl game in Shreveport. We drove home the next day and celebrated Christmas and Rusty's bday with his family.

Then, we went to Atlanta and rang in the new year with my family.

2010 seems to be starting off better already! I feel like great things are going to happen this year and am excited to see what is in store for us!

Lots to post

2009-12-29T11:19:00.000-06:00

It's been a crazy busy week and I have lots to post about, but for tonight I will leave you with this video:

Happy 32nd birthday to Rusty!!!

Here's to the 2 percenters!

2009-12-18T11:38:00.009-06:00

If you are an Aggie, you are familiar with the term "2 percenter". And with our last few football seasons, you have probably been guilty of being one yourself (but that is a whole other post in itself!)

In the last few weeks, that phrase has taken on a new meaning for me. I have been going through some medical testing that has taken me on a roller coaster of emotions. Because my mom was only 32 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, I started having my mammograms a few years ago. I went last month and during a follow-up ultrasound, the radiologist found a mass that he was concerned about. He explained to me the mass was most likely nothing other than a benign fibroid, but that he wanted to biopsy it just to be sure. He felt like it was not something that could be ignored given my family history and the fact that my body has endured two rounds of IVF hormones. There are no studies that show the long term effects of those hormones on estrogen-feeding cancers like breast and ovarian cancer.

He told me that the chances of it being benign were probably 98%, but if you know me, you know that if it can happen to anyone, it will happen to me. We couldn't risk assuming that I wouldn't fall into that other 2% category.

My biopsy was scheduled for a week later. During that time of waiting, I struggled to have a peace about it all. I felt confident that everything would be ok, but I was still nervous. I am sure that no one ever expects that it might truly be cancer. I am sure that my mom didn't believe that her results would come back malignant. I had to prepare myself for anything.

During the procedure, the doctor found a second mass that they had not previously seen. Because the masses were so deep, she had some difficulty with the procedure and was not able to get good samples. So much difficulty in fact, that she was never able to get tissue from the second mass. She felt confident that it was the same as the first though and that the one sample would be sufficient to evaluate both.

The report came back the next week and my doctor called to tell me there was good news and bad news. The good news was the sample sent was benign. The bad news was that the sample did not come from the mass, but from the surrounding normal breast tissue. What are the chances of that happening, I asked? "It happens, but it's very rare." Of course.

They did some more testing and confirmed that indeed the mass had not been tested. I was going to have to go through the biopsy procedure again. When I spoke to another doctor, he told me that he felt confident that the mass was nothing to be concerned about and that he thought I should consider just re-evaluating the mass in 6 months. I explained to him that the fact that I was there, having to redo the test, should tell him that I always seem to be the exception to the rule. Before I do any more fertility treatments or put any more hormones in my body, I needed to know what this mass is. What if I came back in 6 months, pregnant and with breast cancer? After discussing it with Rusty and my doctor, we decided to redo the biopsy. Yesterday, the re-did the procedure and the doctor felt confident that they were able to get a good sample from the mass.

While I have been walking through this, a dear friend has been walking through her own trial. After already suffering one miscarriage, she got pregnant again, but found out that this pregnancy might not be healthy either. When she went to the doctor, it did not seem like the growth was appropriate for it's gestational age. She was told to come back and they would see if anything had changed, but that the chances were not good. We began to pray that no matter what the chances, the baby would beat the odds and continue to grow.

In talking about both her situation and mine, she said, "Here is to the two percenters."

For some reason, that phrase has just resonated in my heart. In her case, it was the small chance of a healthy baby that we were praying for. In my case, it was the small chance of the cancer that we were praying against. The two percent chance of our lives being changed forever.

My sweet friend found out this week that her little one did not beat the odds. She will never have the chance, this side of Heaven, to hold that sweet little one in her arms.

Next week, I will get the pathology reports from my biopsy. I feel confident that it will come back benign. All of the characteristics of this mass are consistent with a fibroid, not cancer. But no matter what the results, I am encouraged by what the Lord has reminded me through these tests.

If there is one thing that I have learned over the past 11 years, it is this:
Even when it seems like He is nowhere around, God is fighting for the 2 percenters.

He is there, holding you when you lose a child. His arms are wrapped around you when face test after test and you get a scary diagnosis. When loved ones hurt you, when others wrong you, when nothing seems right about your life, He is there. He has not abandoned you even when it feels like all odds are against you.

And when you realize that and fully accept that truth, the way that you walk through your suffering changes. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, that it isn't scary, or that it suddenly seems fair. It does mean that you walk with a new hope and peace. You are able to comfort others despite your grief. You are able to encourage others and have a strength that you know is not your own. When people ask you how you can be so strong despite all that you have been through, you have an opportunity to show them the love that has carried you through and to give glory to a God that has never left your side.

Thank you, Lord for being here in the 2 percent.

Who wore it best?

2009-12-17T20:41:00.003-06:00

I feel like I should be an article in US weekly....

Nothing like showing up to your hubby's Christmas party wearing the same dress as someone else!!

Despite that detail, we had a great time. And I just have to tell you how proud of myself I was for wearing a RED dress. A year ago I would have never even tried that on in the store!

How we ended up with the tree...

2009-12-04T16:09:00.008-06:00

Rusty and I agree on a lot of things, but Christmas trees are not one of them. I like them to be real, big and very fat. Kind of like the Griswold's... "Looks good, little big, lotta sap."

Rusty likes the scrawny, tall, sparse "Charlie Brown" kind of trees.

Our first christmas together in 2004, I gave in a little bit, but I pretty much won. We ended up with this tree which was pretty full, but still a little bit on the scrawny side.

We decided that if we were going to be married, we would just have to alternate every year. I must have gotten my way the in 2005, because this is what we ended up with when Rusty got to pick in 2006:

He absolutely loved this tree! In his eyes, it was perfect!

When we moved into the new house and Rusty saw that we had the two story living room, he was determined to have the biggest tree possible. Since it would be silly to pay for a real 12-15 foot tree every year, we decided on a fake one. It's still pretty full, but definitely tall and not as round as I might choose.

So that is how we compromised and ended up choosing this tree. And no Robert, we did NOT steal it from the galleria ice rink! :)

And I just have to add that though I am still wanting to boycott Christmas, this is really helping me get into the spirit.

Bah Humbug.

2009-11-29T20:49:00.005-06:00

I know I sound like a scrooge, but I have really been dreading Christmas this year.

Seriously, if I could just wake up in January, I would be fine with that.

The idea of celebrating another Christmas with just the two of us breaks my heart.

Please don't get me wrong. I love my husband and I thank God every day for him. He is my family and I cherish that. But Christmas, just like birthdays, are markers for me. Another year has passed and we still aren't parents. It is hard to feel joyous, watching other people's children be filled with the magic of Christmas, when our arms remain empty.

I really didn't want to decorate the house or even put up the tree. Rusty is going to be traveling for most of December and won't even be here to enjoy it. It seemed silly to go to all that trouble when I am going to be here alone. But Rusty won that debate.

And if we didn't decorate, I would have missed out on this spectacle:

That would be my husband, standing on the edge of the balcony, putting together our tree! He is the one that insisted on a 12 foot tree, so he gets to put it together! I just stand at the bottom, taking pictures so that I have a permanent record of my "I told you so" moment when he falls and breaks his leg.

This is the result of his antics though, a beautiful tree:

We don't even have it decorated yet, but I still love it. There is something so peaceful about sitting in a dark room with the soft glow of Christmas tree. And I have to admit that it has helped to get me more into the Christmas spirit. I even put out lights in the front yard today!

So, maybe Rusty was right this time. But don't tell him that I admitted that.

Happy "GiveThanksin"

2009-11-26T15:36:00.002-06:00

Happy "GiveThanksIn" to you!

(Please excuse my inability to rotate videos! You would think that I would remember to not turn the camera! Oh well, maybe next time!)

"If you sayed yes, Thank You."

2009-11-10T12:18:00.010-06:00

I recently found a letter that I wrote to God many years ago.....

I struggle to have the faith that I did at 5 years old. To be able to say,

"Thank you God for doing what I know you are capable of, even though you have not done it yet."

He didn't say yes. He chose not to heal her. I don't know why and I will never know. That wouldn't have been my plan. It wouldn't have been my choice.

But, I trust Him. I trust that He had a plan and that He knew what was best for me. I can do that because of how He has provided for me since He took her away. And even though he didn't say yes, I still choose to thank Him for all that He has given me in her absence. I have been blessed with a family and a life that I might not otherwise know.

For the last three years, I have struggled with how to approach God with our infertility. You see, I trust that The One who created us, has the ability to heal us. I believe in miracles and that my God is big enough to do what the doctors cannot.

But, how do I know if that is His plan for us? How do I trust Him to heal us, but keep my heart open to the fact that He might choose not to. He might have something even greater in store for us, something that I do not yet even know that I want. Having a biological child is my plan, but maybe it's not His.

But, I do know this, I will choose to thank Him anyway. Because I trust that no matter how He chooses to make us parents, we are still in the palm of His hand. He has not forgotten us and He will provide for us, every step of the way. Through this journey, we have been blessed by so many things that we might not otherwise have, things that I didn't yet know that I needed. We have been given a strong, solid marriage, cherished friends and loved ones that encourage and pray for us and a closer walk with the One that we cling to for the wisdom and strength that we are not capable of on our own.

It has taken me three years to get to a place where I once said that I would never, ever be. It is the place where I can sincerely say.....

Thank you Lord,

even if you "sayed" No.

Halloween

2009-11-01T07:43:00.004-06:00

If you have ever met or heard stories about our next door neighbor, you know he is quite a character. Sylvester Morris or "Cat" is a retired NFL player. He played for Kansas City Chiefs before knee injuries forced him to leave the league. Now, he sits at home all day and plays X-Box with his buddies. He is a hoot and I love living next door to him because he is a constant source of entertainment for us.

Well, this year Rusty and I decided that it would be funny to dress up like Cat and his wife Lauren. The pictures probably aren't quite as funny if you don't know these two, but they really got a kick out of it.

Cat is always wearing an undershirt, but I couldn't get Rusty to go that far, so he wore Cat's second favorite outfit- red t-shirt with red basketball shorts. He pulls his braids up into a ponytail and when he is golfing, he sticks his tees in his hair for safe keeping.

Lauren always wears long maxi dresses and has a glass of white wine in her hand!

(Please excuse the bad pictures. My real camera is in the shop for 2-3 weeks! I am in withdrawl, by the way but that's a whole other post!)

The Riley Boys

2009-10-30T09:08:00.003-05:00

Beckett and Eli are here!

The boys were born at 36 weeks are in the NICU for some minor complications that come with being preterm. Please pray for quick healing so that they can be back where they belong, in the arms of their momma, soon.

I am so proud of you, Lu and thrilled for your sweet family.

Thank you for letting me be a part of such a special day!

NY City

2009-10-19T18:21:00.009-05:00

Rusty is working in New York for several weeks, so this weekend I got to go and see him for a few days. We had a such a wonderful time and I was so sad to leave him and come home.

We stayed at The Palace Hotel which was just amazing! It is right in the heart of Midtown and we were just blocks away from some of the most fun parts of the city! This was the view from our room:

Isn't it beautiful? From our window, you could see St. Patrick's cathedral

and Radio City Music Hall

We have both been to NYC before, so we did not do many of the typical touristy things, but we did walk around in the afternoons and see some of the sights.

We went to Rockefeller Center

and Times Square

We shopped in a few of our favorite stores:

Rusty at the NBA shop

and me at the candy department of FAO Schwarz

We saw Chicago which I enjoyed, but I guess I am a little naive and do not understand why everything always has to have such crude humor! We did have fourth row seats, which made the show more entertaining. You could literally see the spit coming out of their mouths under the lights!

(Please forgive the blurry picture, I was trying to be discreet and no flash makes it difficult to catch a moving target!)

We slept late every day and we ate WAY too much:

We had some New York Style pizza at John's Pizzeria in Times Square. It's a really cool old church that they have converted into a restaurant.

We also had a fantastic meal at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse where they quickly found the way to my heart through blue cheese encrusted filet and au gratin potatoes.

But one of my favorite restaurants, we found based on the recommendation of my friend, Jenna. There is this really cool little place called The Papillon Bistro where you can have dinner while Opera singers perform. It was a "locals" spot where regulars come each week and it was not crowded with tourists.

It was such fun dinner and though we felt pretty uncultured by the fact that we were the only ones in the restaurant that did not know the words to the songs, we still enjoyed ourselves! We fell in love with this sweet woman from Russia who played the piano! We wanted to bring her home with us!

I didn't even think about taking video until the show was ending, but I did catch the final few notes:

I have another great one of our sweet pianist's solo, but am having a hard time getting it loaded. I will add it if I can ever get it to work. You have to see her- she is just such a doll!

A little less Debbie Downer...

2009-10-08T09:03:00.003-05:00

Jen tagged me with this award and since my blog is in need of a lighter post, I decided to play along...

Rules

1. You can only use one word.

2. Pass this along to six of your favorite bloggers.

3. Alert them that you have given them this award.

4. Have fun!

The Survey:

1. Where is your cell phone? Charger

2. Your hair? Brown

3. Your mother? Heaven

4. Your father? Busy

5. Your favorite food? Mexican

6. Your dream last night? Twins

7. Your favorite drink? Diet Coke

8. Your dream/goal? Contentment

9. What room are you in? Office

10. Your hobby? Photography

11. Your fear? Disapproval

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Kindergarten

13. Where were you last night? Sewing

14. Something that you aren't? Athletic

15. Muffins? Blueberry

16. Wish List Item? Patio

17. Where did you grow up? Tulsa

18. Last thing you did? Procrastinate

19. What are you wearing? Work-out

20. Your TV? Rusty's

21. Your pets? Neurotic

22. Friends? Blessings

23. Your life? Entertaining

24. Your mood? Overwhelmed

25. Missing someone? Several

26. Vehicle: Dirty

27. Something you're not wearing: Earrings

28. Your favorite store? Target

29. Your favorite color? Brown

30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

32. Your best friend? Several

33. One place that I go over and over? Hospital

34. One person who emails me regularly? Rusty

35. Favorite place to eat? The Melting Pot

So, normally, I am a rule follower, but today I am going to break rule #s 2 & 3. If you want to play along, pretend that I tagged you! :)

Update

2009-10-03T12:49:00.002-05:00

I realize that I have been a terrible blogger lately and I apologize.

I always know that it is time to update when I start getting the question on a daily basis, "So what's going on? Where are you guys with the fertility stuff?"

The answer, I am afraid, is not very exciting. Nothing is happening. Because of Rusty's work schedule, we really aren't able to proceed with anything right now. He has a trial in New York scheduled for December and when he is not traveling, he will be busy working and unable to travel to Austin for appointments.

We still do not really have a plan on how we are going to proceed yet, anyway. We just don't have a peace about which direction we are supposed to go in, so we continue to wait. In the meantime, we continue to pray for complete healing and for a miracle!

I haven't shared much on the blog about specific health issues or what our options are, so you might be reading this and be lost. But, please just continue to pray that when the time is right, we will both know in our hearts how we are supposed to proceed.

One of the reasons that I haven't posted much is because I am really struggling right now. I have said it before and I will say it again, but I don't want to be the "Debbie downer" blog that is whining and crying about what I don't have. I am so thankful for all that the Lord has blessed me with and I have not lost sight of that. I do not ever want to come across as feeling sorry for myself. But, this season has it's ups and downs and I am currently walking through some tough days.

Working as an L&D nurse has really started to pay it's toll on my emotions. For two years, I have gone there with a smile on my face and served my patient's in the best way that I knew how. But lately, it's just too hard for me to fake a smile. When I have a patient that tests positive for drugs, has had no prenatal care or takes their precious miracle for granted, I just don't have the strength to take care of them anymore. I cry as I drive to work and I cry all the way home. That isn't healthy for me or my coworkers that have to put up my bad attitude (sorry guys!) Although the thought is still overwhelming to me, I have been considering a change. L&D is all that I have ever done, so the idea of having to learn something new really scares me.

So that's why I have posted....It's easier for me to just not post at all, than to feel like I am throwing a pity party. But, I was recently reminded that the people who read this, read because they love Rusty and I and they want to know what is going on with us- the good and the bad. We cannot thank you enough for your support! Thanks for loving us even on the tough days!

So maybe you should just stick with Jenni

2009-09-16T18:28:00.007-05:00

Turns out, I am no Martha at all.

I just wasted 4 hours of my life. I should have been more productive, but instead, I tried to sew.

The first hour was spent threading the bobbin and machine. Turns out that is way easier when you have a sewing teacher talking you through it.

Once I finally accomplished that, I started a few projects. 3 very mediocre things in 4 long hours- not quite proficient yet, if you ask me.

The first thing I did was a pillowcase for my nephew. He has two "Taggie" blankets that he loves, so I thought that this was a way for him to have his taggies with him at night!

The sewing job is embarrassing, but thankfully, he is 3 and will not care how straight the thread is!

I also made a pink version. The sewing was better on this one, but my ribbons are not perfectly straight which drives me crazy! Maybe I am too OCD to sew!

And finally, the burp cloth. Folded over, you can't quite tell how bad it is, but unfolded you can tell that I had a bit of trouble. I guess this one won't be a gift, but will stay here for any babies that come to visit!

I know that there are many ways to do these, so next time I will try something different, but I had to give up for today.

Next week... Baby blankets!

Pretty stinkin' cute, if you ask me.

2009-09-14T20:13:00.005-05:00

Ok, maybe this kind of bragging should be reserved for parents, but can I just show you how stinking cute my niece is?

(Sorry, I am new at the video thing and couldn't figure out how to flip it!)

Just call me Martha...

2009-09-11T10:04:00.006-05:00

Though I desperately want it to, craftiness does not comes naturally for me. My favorite store is Hobby Lobby, but I often just wander around in there thinking that there are probably lots of fun things for me there, if I only knew what to do with them.

So this weekend, I bought myself a sewing machine and headed to visit my mother-in-law in Orange. I believe that God knew what He was doing when he let me marry the son of a Home-Ec (now known as Life Skills) teacher!

Now, I have never used a sewing machine in my life, but she got me all set up and showed me how to use everything. I didn't even have any idea which one to buy, but this one was featured on Martha Stewart, so I figured if it was good enough for Martha, it was good enough for me!

She took me shopping and we bought all of the necessary tools. I even got this cute little kit- how official do I look now?Then, she taught me how to make throw pillows! I was so excited and proud of myself for making them all by myself! (Under her direct supervision and instruction, don't get me wrong!)

Look what I made:

I had purchased two patterns that I could not choose between, but was so excited that I couldn't stop. I kept making them until all of my material was gone and ended up with 8 pillows.

I am so excited about my new craft and can't wait to get started on another project!

It finally happened

2009-09-05T13:02:00.004-05:00

As much as I tried to avoid it this year, college football season has finally made it to the Woolley household.

You can tell because...

The aTm flag is flying

The maroon mums are potted

Hobby has his aTm jersey on

(It's George's first aTm season, so he doesn't have his own jersey yet, but he tried on Hobby's just to get into the spirit. Hobby didn't know what to think about that!)

5 games are on the tvs

Husband is parked in his spot in front of said tvs

and we are dressed and ready to hit the road and head to College Station.

Ok, that was fun. Is it over yet?

The Riley Boys

2009-08-29T16:53:00.009-05:00

Today, Tami and I threw a shower for our friend Luann. It was so fun to help her celebrate the upcoming arrival of her two boys... Beckett and Elijah!

This is the amazing cake that Tami made.

She is SO talented! Not only was it adorable, it was yummy!

This is my version of the cake! Much easier than Tami's!

The "roses buds" are baby socks. Isn't that sweet?

The favors

Despite the high drama of going to every grocery store in town, only to never find white cranberry juice, like the recipe called for, I think the punch turned out pretty cute! Apparently, white grape juice is much more popular!

Luann and her sweet momma who came all the way from Alabama to help celebrate!

Luann with her hostesses

Reynold's Plantation

2009-08-16T20:59:00.008-05:00

We just got back from a fabulous weekend at The Ritz Carlton at Reynold's Plantation

where we went to celebrate our fourth anniversary! It was a wonderful, relaxing weekend ! I am so thankful for a husband that loves me the way that he does!

Rusty and I always exchange the traditional anniversary gifts. The gift for four years is flowers and (and fruit), so he got me this amazing bouquet of flowers! I was so sad to have to leave it behind!

We also had these yummy strawberries waiting for us in the room!

Every night, the hotel had a bonfire and made smores:

The infinity pool overlooking the lake:

The view from our room:

Our friends Robert and Kim went with us to celebrate Kim's birthday. It was so nice to have another couple there with us. While the boys played golf during the day, Kim and I sent some much needed time at the spa and relaxing with a book by the pool!

We took the opportunity to take some pictures with the beautiful scenery.

(On a side note, to those of you who have heard me talk about it, this is the dress that I FINALLY got the guts to wear! My fashionista Robert at Charming Charlie's convinced me to buy it month's ago, but I haven't had the courage to wear it- I mean it's low cut and PRINT! Craziness. But, I took advantage of the vacation atmosphere and decided to give it a try!)

We rented a boat one afternoon and had fun cruising the lake. The boys did a little bit of rock jumping, but the girls chickened out.

Each night, we had some wonderful dinners

On the last night, we took a ferry to another part of the island and ate dinner at a wonderful restaurant on the water. It was a beautiful boat ride over and a fabulous meal!

Is it sad that this little detail was one of my favorite parts of the weekend? What a nice touch!:

It was a wonderful weekend and we made some great memories. Thanks again babe, for a wonderful anniversary! Here's to many, many more to come! I can't imagine what my life would be like without you in it.

The results are in...

2009-08-10T10:00:00.000-05:00

We got the results of our last round of genetic testing and found out that everything came back completely normal.

This is good news, we think. However, it does mean that we still don't have any answers. If we proceed with another round of IVF, we will not be doing anything any differently than the last time. That scares me because I don't feel like our chances of success are going to be any higher than they have been previously.

We haven't talked to the fertility specialist in Austin yet about what these latest results mean. I am hoping to talk to him this week and maybe he will have a little bit more insight and direction for us.

In the meantime, we are just continuing to pray for peace and wisdom as to how and when to proceed.

Special Delivery

2009-08-08T21:14:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite parts about my job are some of the amazing people that I get to meet. Before each shift, I pray for my day and specifically that I will have the patient that God intends for me. Some days, His hand is so obvious.

Recently, I had the honor of being a part of Mackenzie's birth day! It was definitely one of those times that I felt like the Lord had hand picked my patient for me!

I have come to love this family and am convinced that Sarah and I were separated at birth! She is a better version of me! (But, she is going to help me learn to be crafty and decorate so that I can keep up with her!)

This week, she let me come play and take some 10 day old pictures of Mackenzie. Here are a few:

This one's for you, "Uncle Timmy"

2009-08-04T21:56:00.003-05:00

Check out this visitor that we have at our house tonight:

Anybody know what kind of spider this is? (Other than just plain CREEPY!)

Yes, I am still alive.

2009-08-01T11:37:00.002-05:00

After several recent complaints, I decided that I should just post to let everyone know that I am still alive. We have just had nothing exciting happening in our life that is worthy of blogging about.

What's been going on:

Rusty is doing really well. He was back at work the next day. He does have to take several weeks of oral antibiotics, but then he should be back 100%.
We still have another week or so until we get the remainder of test results from our visit. We don't have another appointment scheduled, but are waiting to get the phone call any day. After that, we should have a better idea of what our options are. We will then make an appointment to see the fertility specialist in Austin to talk about our plan of action.
I have been working on a project for our Sunday school teacher who is leaving to teach another class. We are all writing him letters of thanks and then I am compiling them into a scrapbook for him. I am not a scrapbooker, so it has been interesting. But, I have actually been pretty proud of the job so far. I know it is nothing compared to what some of my very talented friends do, but it's good for me!
I am also planning a baby shower for my sweet friend, Luann! I can't wait to celebrate her and her beautiful boys, Beckett and Elijah! Tami has been sweet enough to offer to have the shower at her house. She makes the most amazingly beautiful cakes and I cannot wait to see what she has in store for Luann!
The dogs are making me crazy. We fixed Hobby's loneliness by getting George, but now we have a little rascal on our hands for sure. That dog can escape from anywhere! Today, we plan on installing chicken wire in the back yard. I am sure that it will work for a day, then we will be investing in something else!
We had our friends Robin and Julie over recently. She is a very talented decorator (amongst other things) and he is a fabulous construction guru. They went through our house and gave us lots of ideas and projects to do. We are waiting to see where we are headed with the fertility stuff before we know how much we can budget for the house. I am so ready to get started though! I want to redo EVERYTHING about my house!
We are leaving for vacation in 12 days! We are going to Reynold's Plantation with our friends Robert and Kim to celebrate our 4th anniversary and Kim's birthday! Kim and I will hit the spa and pool all day while the boys golf, then enjoy some wonderful dinners at night. I can't wait!
Today is my daddy's 65th birthday! Happy Birthday, Dad! I love you!

We are home!!!!

2009-07-23T15:56:00.004-05:00

I am happy to report that Rusty remained fever free all night and we were able to come home just a little bit ago! I can't tell you how excited we both are to sleep in our own bed tonight.

Leaving the hospital with our favorite nurse, Tracey!

Rusty is doing really well. He does not feel sick at all, but is pretty weak from several days in bed with little to eat. I think that he will slowly be able to build his strength back up. He is going to do as much work from home as possible and will go in tomorrow for a few hours, but mostly he is going to lay low for a couple of days and re-coop.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I just can't say enough how much we appreciate all of the love and support that we received in the hospital. It was so encouraging to know that there were so many people praying and rooting for Rusty to get well.

I have to give a special thanks to Tim and Sally for all that you did to keep our household running while we were gone: being there for installation crews, paying the lawn guys, and mostly, keeping our crazy dogs!

Any so many others sent gifts, cards, called, visited and emailed. Every well wish encouraged us and lifted Rusty's spirits.

We are so blessed to have each of you!

2009-07-22T20:52:00.001-05:00

The infectious disease doctor and the urologist both stopped by tonight and we got some very good news! They were able to isolate the bacteria and find the appropriate antibiotic! As long as Rusty stays afebrile for the next 24 hours, we should be able to go home tomorrow night! He will be on oral antibiotics for several weeks, but at least he will get to be at home!

Rusty is feeling so much better tonight and has even been able to keep down a very light dinner. He was so discouraged last night when his fever spiked again, but I think that he is finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!

Thank you again for all of your prayers and support! It has meant the world to both Rusty and I!

2009-07-21T20:58:00.002-05:00

Not too much to report tonight... Rusty is feeling about the same.
Earlier, he was having some chest pain which made us worry about the possibility of fluid on his lungs. They did a chest x-ray though and for now, everything looks clear.
He was able to shower and get out of bed a little bit today- which made him feel better. But, then the fever started to come back and he has been in bed since about 2pm.
He still isn't able to keep any food down, but has discovered popsicles which are helping.
The blood cultures should be back Wednesday night and we will have a better idea what is going on. Once they know what bacteria is causing the infection, they can determine whether or not he is on the appropriate antibiotics. He will also have to be tolerating food, and be fever free for a period of time (I am guessing at least 24 hours) before they will decide to discharge him.

He does have the same nurse that he had last night though. Let's just say... I am not her biggest fan and I don't think that she is mine. Oh well. Take good care of my husband and we won't have a problem.

Thank you again to all of you that have called, emailed, texted, and facebooked (is that a verb?). I hope that it shows Rusty how truly loved he is. He received some beautiful flowers from our friends Dwayne and Karen today and he had some wonderful friends and family come to visit- Chris, Mom and Dad, Tim and Addison, Sally, a pastor from our church came to pray with us, and sweet Tami brought us a wonderful basket full of goodies. We are so blessed to have so many people pulling for us in this life- no matter what the situation, big or small!

Today's update

2009-07-21T07:59:00.003-05:00

It's been a long night, but for right now, Rusty is doing better. They finally got us into a room about 6:30pm and Rusty was finally able to lay down, which made him feel MUCH better. They drew the initial blood cultures and lab work, but did not get the antibiotics started until after 11pm. I have learned that it is much harder to be the wife, when I can't be the nurse. I get so frustrated with the way that they are doing things and have a hard time just sitting on my hands. The doctor called about 11 to check on him and was pretty frustrated with the delay. He said "You should have just started the IV for them!" Trust me, I wish I could have!
Neither of us got much sleep last night, as Rusty's fever continued to spike and then drop. He spent the night either shivering or sweating profusely. Then, there was the vomiting. Oh, how he hates the vomiting!
The doctor stopped by this morning and said that his white blood cell count has elevated since his initial blood work, but that is not too surprising when you consider that he got the antibiotics so late. He did say that the bacteria is obviously in his bloodstream and we need to treat it aggressively. If there is not much improvement soon, he is going to bring in a consultation with an Infectious Disease doctor to consider how to change his treatment.
He also said that we will be here a while and that Rusty should not plan on going back to work this week, which has Rusty pretty bummed. He is already going pretty stir crazy in this room!
Thank you all for continuing to pray!

My poor hubby

2009-07-20T17:22:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to ask you all to say a prayer for Rusty tonight. At our appointment on Friday he had a procedure done and over the weekend, he started to develop some signs of infection. We went to the doctor today and they decided to admit him to the hospital. The plan is that he will be here several days for IV antibiotics and some blood cultures.
We are currently sitting in the admitting office, waiting for a room. We have been here for 2 hours now and are starting to get pretty frustrated. Hopefully, we will get him into a room quickly and get his treatment started so that he can start feeling better. Rusty had hardly even been to the doctor before this whole infertility journey, certainly not the hospital. He has never even had an IV!
Thank you all for keeping us in your prayers tonight. We are hoping to get the infection under control quickly before it spreads any further.

Goodbye, Audrie Kate!

2009-07-19T15:29:00.004-05:00

Audrie Kate went home yesterday

and things have been pretty quiet around here without her. We were all sad to see her go- especially her new friend, Hobby. He was quite the good big brother when she was here. No matter where she was, he was right beside her.

At first, George wasn't all that interested in her, but as the week went on, he started warming up to her. He definitely wanted to make sure that dad didn't forget about him.

Uncle Rusty is sure going to miss having her around too.

Thanks again, Shane and Stephanie for letting us spend the week with your precious baby girl! It was such a blessing to have our arms and hearts filled this week!

2009-07-17T18:44:00.005-05:00

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers today. Your texts, emails, comments, and facebook messages meant the world to me! We are so blessed to have so many people loving and supporting us.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the peace today that I was praying for. The appointment was very, very difficult for me. They took Rusty into a room to do a test while I waited in the waiting room. The technician came out of the room, upset with someone for scheduling the wrong test and was LOUDLY venting his frustration, where everyone in the waiting room could hear him. He proceeded to talk about all of Rusty's information, including the tests results that we had been waiting for.

I will tell you this. It was not the result I wanted to hear and certainly not the way that I wanted to hear it.

I started bawling right there in the waiting room. Apparently, it created quite a scene because the doctor went in to tell Rusty that his wife was crying in the waiting room. The tech said to Rusty, "She's upset because of the infertility? I guess your wife really wants a baby?" No moron. We are just here because we had nothing else to do on a Friday afternoon. The tech came out to the waiting room and said "Don't worry, your husband is doing fine." I wasn't worried- I was furious!

And for those of you that specifically prayed for God to be creative and reveal His presence to me...
A sweet man in the waiting room handed me a tissue and said, "You just got to give it to God, dear. He'll take care of you." Then the water faucets started again. Oh, how I needed that reminder right then. So that's what I did. I gave it to Him. I sat there and prayed that the tech was wrong or maybe there was another interpretation of the results.
We waited some more and 2 hours after we arrived, we finally got the chance to talk to the doctor.

The good news?
The tech was wrong about the test results!
The bad news?
We still don't have an answer. We have lots of abnormal tests but the doctor can't tell us whether or not those abnormalities are significant enough to cause such severe infertility. If one of the top doctors in the country can't, who can?
So, he recommended that we do another test- a test that I thought they had done the last time. And guess what? Those results take another 3 weeks!

Needless to say, I am very frustrated. I just want an answer. I am trying to have patience, but it's so hard. We probably would not move forward quickly, but that is not the point. I just needed to know if and how we will proceed, when the time is right.

One really good thing did come of the appointment though. The doctor got a lesson from a patient on the importance of professionalism. My sweet, not afraid to confront, attorney husband made sure to let him know what happened. It's a new office, so they are working out the kinks for sure, but he was told today- invest in a door to separate the waiting room from the doctors!!

The Baby Lab

2009-07-16T08:57:00.005-05:00

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I watch these terribly emotional shows? Tears are streaming down my face as I watch a show on Discovery Health called "The Baby Lab." It's basically "The Baby Story," but the story of infertile couples walking through IVF. They follow several couples because they have to show both good and bad outcomes for dramatic effect. But, the happy endings are not the ones making me cry today.

It is the couple who is smiling, full of hope as they wait on their transfer, only to get the news that their embryos do not look great and they probably won't result in a pregnancy. I watched as all of the hope drained from their faces. My heart is breaking for them and memories are flooding back of the same conversation that we had just before our first transfer. So much hope for new life, so much possibility, and so much caution all wrapped into one. I wanted desperately for these babies to grow, believing in a big God that can do anything, but all the while guarding my heart because I know the medical statistics. How do you balance faith and knowledge?

It was the doctor trying to encourage a couple before they even knew what the outcome was going to be of this round, "If you don't get pregnant this time, you can always use a donor or consider adoption." If he wasn't inside the tv, I would have hit him for that poor woman. Here she sits, clinging to the last little bit of hope that she can muster and yet the doctor has none. When you are giving so much to be a biological parent, the last thing that you want to hear about is your other options. She knows her options. I can assure you that she has researched every possibility ad nauseam. But, right now she needs her own doctor to believe in her and give her some hope that all of this has been worth it.

It's the phone conversation that happens two weeks later. The couple has sat by the phone anxiously for hours. They know that the chances are not good, but they hold onto hope until the very last moment when they hear, "You are not pregnant." After each transfer, I went to the doctor every two days for blood work. Then, I would come home and wait for the call to tell me how my hormone levels looked and how to adjust the dosage of medications that I was taking. It was my whole life, consuming every thought of every day. It was a roller coaster of emotion, trying to predict what each level meant. Getting my hopes up one day, then being discouraged the next. Until the 14th day, when I drove to the doctor for the very last time to have the final blood test done. We knew things weren't looking very positive, but had spent hours on our knees praying for God to work a miracle. After the last appointment, I would come home and sit on the couch for 6 hours with the phone in my hand, praying that He would some how work this out. Each time the final call came, with that dreaded result "You are not pregnant." The first time, I felt like my heart was ripped from my chest. I sat in the shower crying my eyes out. I hadn't felt that kind of pain since I lost Holland. The second time, I crawled into the bed with the covers over my head and just prayed to sleep until Rusty came home, so that I wouldn't have to feel the pain.

Maybe my emotions are just more raw today. Tomorrow is our follow-up appointment with the newest specialist and I am more nervous than I ever thought I would be. We will get the results of the last testing that we did and we could very well get a final word on whether or not we will ever be biological parents. I have said that I will be ok even if it is not the news that we want, that at least we will have an answer and will be able to close that door. I don't know how much I really mean that, but I am desperately trying to get there. I think it will be a process of grieving the loss of that dream. You always expect to grow up, get married and have a baby. When that is not the path that God has chosen for you, you have to come to the acceptance of that and I cannot imagine that it is always immediate. It may take some time to have a peace about that.

We have been through so much to get to this point and I just have to believe that it was not all in vain. Whether or not we ever have a biological child, I know that God is faithful and that He will provide a family for us.

Please continue to pray for us and our own appointment at "The Baby Lab" tomorrow at 3:30pm. We are still praying for a miracle, but mostly, we just want an answer. We are also praying for peace, no matter what the results are and for wisdom as to where to go from here. Either way, we will have a lot of decisions ahead of us and we desperately want to move forward according to God's plan for our lives.

So far, so good.

2009-07-13T17:40:00.004-05:00

Miss Audrie Kate has been with us for two days now and so far, all is going really well. She is such a doll and we have loved having her here.

Our next door neighbor saw me walking with the stroller this morning and was very confused! He said, "I know I haven't seen you in a while, but it hasn't been THAT long!"

This is his daughter, Sydni who had to come play with "the new baby!"

And of course, we had to have a photo shoot!

I really believe that this opportunity to keep her has been a blessing to us as much as it was her parents. Our arms and hearts have been filled with the love of a baby, if only for a few days.

What I have been up to...

2009-07-11T17:09:00.011-05:00

Last week, some family came in town from Atlanta to stay with us. It was great to spend a few days with my Aunt Dixie, Cousin Marlee and her daughter, Jordan. (In case you are wondering, that makes her my first cousin once removed. I have always called her my second cousin, but you my researching husband had to look that up. Apparently, I was wrong, as usual.)

One of our first stops was El Tiempo. This is our favorite Mexican restaurant in town. We used to live just down the street, but we had to leave it behind when we moved out to the 'burbs.

We spent the 4th at home with Tim, Sally and Addison and our friends (and neighbors) Blake, Monica and Anthony. I tried to make a festive cake, but it didn't quite turn out as fun as I had hoped. Oh well, I tried.

We also played a little bit of wiffleball (another thing I was wrong about, I always thought it was woofleball) and shot some fireworks:

Then we headed to Dallas where Jordan was playing in a basketball tournament. Since it is only four hours away from Stillwater, my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew were able to meet us there.

This is my nephew Jackson. Isn't he adorable?My brother Tim and my cousin Marlee:

My sister-n-law Jodi and I:

We went to Billy Bob's one night and Jackson had a blast playing with his new pistols and line dancing with the basketball team:

It was a great week full of family, but the fun continues...

Right now, we have Rusty's sister Toy, our brother in law David and niece Whitney staying with us. Then, starting tomorrow, we will be keeping a four month old for a week while her mom and dad are on a cruise. So, the Woolley house is staying pretty busy!

It's a small world after all...

2009-06-30T12:48:00.006-05:00

This blog has brought about some of the greatest blessings in my life right now...

FRIENDS.

New friendships have been formed and old friendships have been rekindled.

Just when I needed it the most, the Lord has sent me some amazing people to help carry me through some very difficult days.

Over the past few months, some of my new friends and I have begun to realize how small this world really is. Through the blogs and Facebook, we keep seeing that each of us have so many connections. We kept making connection after connection and it was starting to get out of control.

Last night, several of us "blog friends" decided to meet for dinner. Some of us were meeting for the very first time, but we just felt like we have always been buddies!

I just spent 30 minutes trying to type all of the connections that we have, but just deleted it. You couldn't follow the crazy web if you tried. Just trust me when I tell you that it is CRAZY!

Jen "The Newlywed"- a blogworld friend that goes to my church and has lots of mutual friends. Such a doll! I am totally trying to recruit her and Grant to move to Fall Creek with us!
Erica- a blogworld friend that turned out to be one of the best friends that I will ever have! I thank the Lord for sending her to me. She has been such a blessing in my life. And, she has the cutest son in the world! (Just, for the record.)
Jacyln- another blogworld friend. I was so happy to hug her neck for the first time last night. One day on Facebook, she had 3 people comment on her status and I knew ALL 3 people from totally separate walks in my life. Then, I posted a picture of friends and she knew all of them from MOPS. It was really starting to freak us out! One of those people was:
Ashley- one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. She was such a good friend when we were in junior high and high school, but life seemed to get in the way and we lost touch for a while. I am so happy to have her back and don't even feel like we missed a beat! I love her and all of her family as if they were my own.

More boat adventures

2009-06-21T15:30:00.001-05:00

Since we didn't have such a great experience last time we went out on the boat, we decided to head back to Orange this weekend and try again. The Woolleys went out on it this week to test out the new steering and it ran perfectly.

So, again we loaded everyone up and hit the water. The afternoon started out wonderfully. The boat was running great and the weather was beautiful. We cruised around on the water and I started getting pretty fond of our little investment. I was envisioning little projects that I could do to help spruce it up aesthetically, but happy overall with the great deal that we got.

We found a little cove to fish in and parked. There weren't a lot of fish, but we each had some action.

We decided to move over just a bit and try deeper water. That is when the real fun began. The boat wouldn't crank. Nothing. The battery had plenty of juice, but there was some sort of electrical problem and the engine wouldn't turn over at all.

We had stopped to buy some bait earlier at a local marina and noticed a Coast Guard boat. So, we called the marina and asked if the boat was still there. Of course, it wasn't. But, the sweet lady that answered the phone called the Coast Guard for us and gave them our number. When they called back, we learned that they would have to put a boat in the water over an hour away to come get us. Rusty told them not to bother, that we would find help. So, we called everyone we knew that might be able to come help. No one was available.

At least 10 boats drove right by us without even stopping. We waved our arms and sounded our air horn, but they just kept driving.

By this time, it's getting dark. The horseflies and mosquitos are coming out and the alligators are out for dinner. Not the baby alligators... I am talking the 8-10 foot papa alligators.

We had been on the boat for several hours and had a cooler full of diet coke and water. Let's just say, the girls really needed a break. We weren't wearing swim suits, but even if we were, I don't think you could have gotten me into the water with those gators.

The wind was blowing in the direction that we need to go, so we (and by we, I won't mention any names, but I am referring to the non-females on the vessel) decide to untie the boat and start drifting that way, praying for someone to stop and give us a tow.

Papa Woolley starts to paddle from the front of the boat.

I am very proud of my idea to use the top as a sail to help push us along:

(My sweet man, appeasing me by letting me take pictures of our ordeal. How else do you expect me to cope with the stress? I should at least be able to blog about it!)

And then the Coast Guard called to check on us. They told us that they had put a boat in the water anyway. They couldn't turn back unless they knew that we were safe. They should be there soon!

It was a happy moment when we saw the blue lights in the distance!

Trying to make my husband smile as we relaxed on our tow ride back:

I am sure that it is some minor electrical short that will be easily fixed, but I think that my fondness for our old boat has quickly faded.

After church today, we headed straight to the boat show.

Ready for the Boat!

2009-06-16T16:07:00.005-05:00

Saturday, we loaded up the dogs and headed to Orange to spend the day out on the boat. We spent the morning cleaning it and doing some minor cosmetic projects to help spruce it up. It really is starting to look pretty good!

How cute do my boys look in their life jackets?

Every once and a while, I can catch him looking, but I still can't get George to pose for the camera. He tries to "hide" from me.

Here he is "hiding" behind Papa:

Aww, man. She found me.
Hobby knows the drill though and will pose all day!

We loaded the dogs, coolers, fishing poles, sunscreen, Meme and Papa and headed to the water. We got everything loaded, pushed off from the trailer and realized that the steering was out! So, we loaded it back up and headed home to spend the rest of the afternoon trying to fix it. Oh, well. It was a good test run. The good news is Papa got it fixed this week and it only cost up $20 because he did all of the work! What would we do without him?

Update

2009-06-12T13:51:00.004-05:00

Thank you all for your comments, texts, and calls about our appointment today. It was pretty draining- $1300, 3 different docs, 2 exams, 2 tests, and 2 hours of waiting, only to be told that we have to wait another month to really know anything!

We received a few results today, but nothing definitive that can tell us how to proceed. Those results will not be back for about 3 weeks. So, we have another appointment and procedure scheduled for July 17th and will hopefully have more information by then.

The waiting is so frustrating, but we are hopeful that the news will be good and we will be able to proceed fairly quickly after our next appointment.

Please keep praying!