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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I promise this is the last one...

I know that this is my third post of the day and I am sorry, but I just had to share a few more things.

First of all- it is a crazy small world! Erica my new blog world friend, figured out today that we have talked before through a mutual friend! I have been so encouraged by her in the blog world and learning from the road she has already walked with ICSI. Little did I know that God was already cultivating a friendship long ago, knowing that one day we could comfort and lift each other up in our infertility! He is so good.

Also, my heart has been so burdened over the past couple of days with the small number of follicles that I have growing. God really spoke to my heart yesterday and gave me such a peace about it, that He is still in control. Then today, as I was driving to the doctor, I heard the "Insights for living with Chuck Swindoll" on KSBJ. Did anyone hear that this morning? I almost had to pull over, I was crying so hard! (I am sure that the hormones had NOTHING to do with that) Basically, he was talking about giving Christ control of our lives. That our job is not to determine the outcome, but to simply obey. Christ will handle the rest. This only confirmed what God has been showing me. I need to give this to Him. He already has it figured out much better than I could ever! I didn't know how to verbalize what He was showing me, but then I was reading some old posts on Erica's blog and she stated EXACTLY what God had put on my heart. So, to steal from you Erica, I wanted to share:
"To be completely honest, one of our greatest concerns about moving forward with IVF was that we would be left with numerous frozen embryos. We had legitimate fears about the possibility that there could be more than we could ever use, and that we would be faced with the decision of whether or not to put the embryos up for adoption for other infertile couples. It was extremely intimidating for us. God gave us peace to move forward despite these fears, and we felt confident that He would not give us more than we could handle (whatever that looked like). I truly believe that that is exactly what is playing out right now. God is going to give us exactly what we need for His plan. It may not be all that the doctor ideally wants, but it will be the perfect amount for His plan. I know with all my heart that He can provide us a child through this process if it is His will. And if it is not, I am trusting and believing that He will use our experience for His glory and that He will fulfill the desires of our hearts in His time and in His way!"
Thank you to those of you that have been praying for us. My peace has been restored!

3 comments:

Unknown said...

You are right when you say that only those who have walked in these particular shoes can fully appreciate what you are going through. I know that I do not know exactly what you may be feeling or even understand all that your circumstance brings, but I can honestly say that you are in my thoughts and prayers EVERYDAY! I am a big believer in prayer and have called on my grandmother who is the most devoted Christian woman I personally know to put you and Rusty in her prayers. She has met you at our wedding and just thinks you are a "doll". (just wanted to add that little compliment) I read her your blog testimony I call it about when you received your friend's Rosary because I was so touched and thought it was so beautifully written. I am following every step of this with you in my heart and on this blog. I log on almost everyday to find out what has happened next. I just want you to know that I LOVE YOU. I know there isn't much I can offer to you!!!!! I will continue to pray for you and Rusty everyday!

Erica said...

I'm glad we've connected too! It's amazing the strength we can find in other people's journeys, and even more beautiful how God can use our journey to minister to another. Your story has blessed me too, my friend! I look forward to meeting you in person soon (hopefully!).

Aaron & Stephanie said...

Thank you for posting often! I love to see the journey that God is taking you on...it is an encouragement to all of your readers, I am sure. Aaron and I are still praying together every night for you! And thank you for what you said about being pregnant...my pregnancy and recovery was far from ideal, but I am sobered by what you've said and have learned not to grumble about it. Job said it best..."Shall we accept good from the Lord and not bad?" Thanking him for what gifts have been given...praising him even when it hurts. Caleb will be 1 year old on Saturday!!