WHY?

With any grief process, it is only human to question "WHY?" Lately, I have struggled more than ever with trying to understand God.
WHY would he allow my friend Kristi to try for more than a year to get pregnant, only to lose her baby to a terrible birth defect?
WHY would he allow my sweet friend, Erica to go through all that she has? To finally get pregnant and then to lose the baby?
WHY would he allow 14 year-old girls to deliver their baby in the toilet and flush it when so many of us are dying to have a child?
I don't understand. I am heartbroken. I am angry. And I think that God is OK with that. It is part of grief, part of learning to cling to Him. When I am hurt, I turn to Him. Sometimes it is in questioning Him, but I always turn it back to Him. And, in the process, He reveals Himself to me. I grow closer to Him.
I was re-reading Get Out of that Pit by Beth Moore the other day and God really spoke to my heart. I was grieving especially for Erica that day, crying out to God, asking him "WHY?" and He led me to several passages in this book. I sat down and immediately shared them with Erica, but I wanted to share them with you, too. It was just such a reminder to me, that NO MATTER what is going on in any of our lives, God is still in control.

"We, on the other hand, are totally incapable of understanding His ways at times. Yet in His tender mercy, God lets us ask the same nagging question that Abraham posed: 'Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?' Maybe we ask it using different words, such as, 'Can we really be sure that God always has our best interests at heart?' Or maybe we just say it silently, letting our distancing hearts speak for themselves. If we're willing to stay close enough and watch long enough, we will discover that the answer to the question is emphatically yes. The Judge of all the earth will do right. He is complete perfection. All wise. Only good. Satan has no more effective weapon in his arsenal than to make us question- not so much whether God exists, but whether God is really good. God alone posses the power and passion for us to be restored after being shredded in life's killing fields. For Satan to talk us into distrusting God and distancing ourselves from Him is to keep us broken, ineffective, and frankly, out of his hair. Life offers no few invitations to fall into this distrust... No, I can't explain how the whole goodness-of-God, suffering-of-man thing works, but I know that God cannot- does not- wrong His children. He can't. Inconceivable holy, God cannot sin. He is unapproachable Light, and He has no dark side. At the end of the Book of Job, it's protagonist didn't have his original questions answered either, but this he knew: his God was huge, his God was wise, and his God would redeem."