Here's to the 2 percenters!

If you are an Aggie, you are familiar with the term "2 percenter". And with our last few football seasons, you have probably been guilty of being one yourself (but that is a whole other post in itself!)

In the last few weeks, that phrase has taken on a new meaning for me. I have been going through some medical testing that has taken me on a roller coaster of emotions. Because my mom was only 32 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, I started having my mammograms a few years ago. I went last month and during a follow-up ultrasound, the radiologist found a mass that he was concerned about. He explained to me the mass was most likely nothing other than a benign fibroid, but that he wanted to biopsy it just to be sure. He felt like it was not something that could be ignored given my family history and the fact that my body has endured two rounds of IVF hormones. There are no studies that show the long term effects of those hormones on estrogen-feeding cancers like breast and ovarian cancer.

He told me that the chances of it being benign were probably 98%, but if you know me, you know that if it can happen to anyone, it will happen to me. We couldn't risk assuming that I wouldn't fall into that other 2% category.

My biopsy was scheduled for a week later. During that time of waiting, I struggled to have a peace about it all. I felt confident that everything would be ok, but I was still nervous. I am sure that no one ever expects that it might truly be cancer. I am sure that my mom didn't believe that her results would come back malignant. I had to prepare myself for anything.

During the procedure, the doctor found a second mass that they had not previously seen. Because the masses were so deep, she had some difficulty with the procedure and was not able to get good samples. So much difficulty in fact, that she was never able to get tissue from the second mass. She felt confident that it was the same as the first though and that the one sample would be sufficient to evaluate both.

The report came back the next week and my doctor called to tell me there was good news and bad news. The good news was the sample sent was benign. The bad news was that the sample did not come from the mass, but from the surrounding normal breast tissue. What are the chances of that happening, I asked? "It happens, but it's very rare." Of course. 

They did some more testing and confirmed that indeed the mass had not been tested. I was going to have to go through the biopsy procedure again. When I spoke to another doctor, he told me that he felt confident that the mass was nothing to be concerned about and that he thought I should consider just re-evaluating the mass in 6 months. I explained to him that the fact that I was there, having to redo the test, should tell him that I always seem to be the exception to the rule. Before I do any more fertility treatments or put any more hormones in my body, I needed to know what this mass is. What if I came back in 6 months, pregnant and with breast cancer? After discussing it with Rusty and my doctor, we decided to redo the biopsy. Yesterday, the re-did the procedure and the doctor felt confident that they were able to get a good sample from the mass.

While I have been walking through this, a dear friend has been walking through her own trial. After already suffering one miscarriage, she got pregnant again, but found out that this pregnancy might not be healthy either. When she went to the doctor, it did not seem like the growth was appropriate for it's gestational age. She was told to come back and they would see if anything had changed, but that the chances were not good. We began to pray that no matter what the chances, the baby would beat the odds and continue to grow.

In talking about both her situation and mine, she said, "Here is to the two percenters." 

For some reason, that phrase has just resonated in my heart. In her case, it was the small chance of a healthy baby that we were praying for. In my case, it was the small chance of the cancer that we were praying against. The two percent chance of our lives being changed forever.

My sweet friend found out this week that her little one did not beat the odds. She will never have the chance, this side of Heaven, to hold that sweet little one in her arms.

Next week, I will get the pathology reports from my biopsy. I feel confident that it will come back benign. All of the characteristics of this mass are consistent with a fibroid, not cancer. But no matter what the results, I am encouraged by what the Lord has reminded me through these tests.

If there is one thing that I have learned over the past 11 years, it is this:
Even when it seems like He is nowhere around, God is fighting for the 2 percenters.

He is there, holding you when you lose a child. His arms are wrapped around you when face test after test and you get a scary diagnosis. When loved ones hurt you, when others wrong you, when nothing seems right about your life, He is there. He has not abandoned you even when it feels like all odds are against you.

And when you realize that and fully accept that truth, the way that you walk through your suffering changes. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, that it isn't scary, or that it suddenly seems fair. It does mean that you walk with a new hope and peace. You are able to comfort others despite your grief. You are able to encourage others and have a strength that you know is not your own. When people ask you how you can be so strong despite all that you have been through, you have an opportunity to show them the love that has carried you through and to give glory to a God that has never left your side.

Thank you, Lord for being here in the 2 percent.