You were supposed to be due today.
I had it all figured out. Since 2 of you would be fighting for space in there, I knew that you would want to come early. I told you to just hang on until Thanksgiving. If I could get you that far, you should be healthy enough to not have to stay in the hospital. I couldn't bear the thought of walking out of a hospital again, with no baby in my arms. No, I wouldn't leave without you. You just had to be healthy.
I would have you home by Christmas! I was so excited that I would not spend another Christmas without you! I was going to have to buy new stocking hangers though. JOY is already used by mine and daddy's stockings, plus a third for Santa to fill with bones for Hobby. I was going to buy PEACE instead and we would be complete with our family of 5.
I may not have had you inside of me long, but that doesn't mean I loved you any less. From the moment I got the phone call that I had 2 babies, I was in love. I wanted to do everything in my power to protect you. I watched on the ultrasound as they placed you inside of me, so that you could be nourished and grow. I sat, staring at that image with tears flowing down my face. It was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. "Please, God. Just give them a chance."
Some mommies don't get the chance to see their babies until they are little peanuts with beating hearts. In that moment, they see the life inside of them and are in awe. I never got to see your beating hearts, I just got the chance to see you earlier. It was the same type of awe for me though, to know that I carried two lives inside of me.
I talked to you, dreamed of you, planned for you, but most of all, I loved you. I will always love you and I look forward to the day that I get the chance to meet you and hold you in my arms. Until then remain with your brothers and sisters that just joined you, in the arms of the Father. He will protect you better than I ever could.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
December 13th, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
My dearest Jennifer Woollifer and "son" Rusty. I have been, for the first time in my life, without words. I have tried for the past week to find some words of comfort to share with you both and I know there are none that would make you pain go away. I have prayed, begged and bargained with God for you but, I know that He has a plan. I know that you believe that as well, however, through your grief it is to hard to see. Rely on your faith, your love for each other and allow yourselves to feel the love that we are all sending to you. Much, much love, Lisa
Beautifully said, Jennifer. You are a wonderful mom - you love your children enough to entrust them to God, to surrender them into the palm of His loving hand, and trust His perfect plan for their lives, even when the hurt cuts deep.
You and I have talked before about having future play dates, but I just had a thought that maybe our little ones in Heaven beat us to it. Perhaps they are already laughing and playing together at the foot of the Almighty's throne, under the watchful, loving and protective eye of our Father. :)
Hugs,
Erica
Jenni,
I want to do everything in my power to give you what you dream for. I know I don't have that power but God will one day, as you said, give you more wonderful blessings than you can imagine! I have cried heavy tears for you. I know God hears our cry and is listening.
Love, Kim
Dear Jennifer,
You do not know me, but I was drawn to your blog through my friend, Ashley Park. I want you to know that my heart longs to pray for you, my sister. I noticed you have the Skaggs on your list of blogs...my husband and I went to college with B and Sara. How do you know them? With love and prayers, Courtney
I am trusting and believing God to answer your/our prayers and give you the desires of your heart! I thank Him for your faith and example...and I pray for you constantly.
Jennifer, we have not yet met, but my mother-in-law, Jackie Bradley, gave me your blog so I could pray for you. I want you to know that I have been reading your blog for about a month now and praying for your strength constantly. I didn't want to appear like a blog stalker and scare you, so I didn't leave a comment. I am also an Aggie, c/o '97, and hope we can meet someday. Will you be in Orange for Christmas? We will be there, of course, to hear Pops preach. I want you to know that you ARE a mommy. I know you have said many times that you longed to be one, but just by reading the words to your babies, it is evident that you ARE. Only a mommy can feel that way for her little ones and love them as much as you do. For some reason, God is just having you go down a different path to be able to see your babies, but He is going to show you His plan. It will be amazing and we will all rejoice with you, but I know right now it seems like an eternity. I honestly believe the Lord only gives situations like this to people that He knows will handle it gracefully and for His glory, no matter what, and your, pretty lady, are doing both of those things without ceasing. It amazes me. Please know that even though we don't know each other, I am here for you as a sister and have lifted you up in prayer for many weeks now. I really do hope we can meet someday. I think of you daily and pray for your future family. Love, Jenny
Post a Comment