Bah Humbug.

I know I sound like a scrooge, but I have really been dreading Christmas this year.

Seriously, if I could just wake up in January, I would be fine with that.

The idea of celebrating another Christmas with just the two of us breaks my heart.

Please don't get me wrong. I love my husband and I thank God every day for him. He is my family and I cherish that. But Christmas, just like birthdays, are markers for me. Another year has passed and we still aren't parents. It is hard to feel joyous, watching other people's children be filled with the magic of Christmas, when our arms remain empty.

I really didn't want to decorate the house or even put up the tree. Rusty is going to be traveling for most of December and won't even be here to enjoy it. It seemed silly to go to all that trouble when I am going to be here alone. But Rusty won that debate.

And if we didn't decorate, I would have missed out on this spectacle:

That would be my husband, standing on the edge of the balcony, putting together our tree! He is the one that insisted on a 12 foot tree, so he gets to put it together! I just stand at the bottom, taking pictures so that I have a permanent record of my "I told you so" moment when he falls and breaks his leg.

This is the result of his antics though, a beautiful tree:

We don't even have it decorated yet, but I still love it. There is something so peaceful about sitting in a dark room with the soft glow of Christmas tree. And I have to admit that it has helped to get me more into the Christmas spirit. I even put out lights in the front yard today!

So, maybe Rusty was right this time. But don't tell him that I admitted that.