What's been going on...

I apologize once again for the silence on the blog. Something happened this week that made me consider taking the blog down completely. I was reminded that this is really the world wide web and anyone who wants to, can read these words. Obviously, I knew that and have always chosen to write it anyway. But I have now decided that may not be the smartest thing to do. I don't know what I am going to do about it yet, but I am considering making it private. I am hesitant to do that though because I have made so many great friends through linking to blogs.  It was the blogworld that introduced me to Erica and I just don't know what I would do without her friendship! And there are countless other beautiful women that I have connected with because blogs. Their support and encouragement has been such a blessing on this journey and I cannot imagine missing out on any one of those friendships. Plus, it's kind of a hassle to log in to read private blogs. How many of you would still read?

I haven't been working much lately... well, at all really. Maybe I am weak, but it is just too hard for me to do. This was my friend's facebook post last week. It pretty much sums up why I can't go to work anymore: "Triage patient from last night: 5' - 250#, 20 wks pg. came in for bleeding; just had sex with her lesbian partner, list of STDs a mile long, Medicaid. Because she is on Medicaid, she was apalled that she received a BILL from the hospital for an ER visit she made 2 wks earlier when she came in for "pressure". "Isn't... there somebody you could talk to for me?" she asked.These are the people we are dealing with..."

So, until I decide what to do with my life, I am just sitting around and eating Bon-Bons. You would think that this would give me a great opportunity to do something really productive, but I haven't. Thankfully, my new Kindle has been here to support me in my boredom. I have become quite the reader! I have also taken up yoga, but it's a beginner's class and so far, it has just been like being on an episode of Sit and Be Fit. I am hoping that they kick it up a notch soon.


Ever since the earthquake, I have had this nagging in my heart to go to Haiti and help with the disaster relief. I have read several articles that talk about the desperate need for medical support. Plus, I feel like this is the perfect time for me to go- I am not working and I have really been feeling sorry for myself lately. I think that this would be a great way for me to get some perspective on how good my life really is and serve some others that are hurtung in ways that I will never know. Rusty hasn't been too excited about the idea because of his concerns about safety and who I would go with. He is also concerned that I am going to come home with a baby in my carry-on. I am just so burdened for all of those sweet children that are now orphaned by this disaster. It just seems like a no brainer to me... these kids need parents. I need a baby. Why can't I just take one? I wish it were that easy....
Anyway, I have continued to nag Rusty and he agreed that I could look into it. I contacted the missions department at church to see if they have any groups that I could connect with. Today, I found a group that is going to Haiti on this SUNDAY and I have the opportunity to go with them! Obviously, we have a lot of info that needs to be gathered and this might not be the right group for me to go with, if at all. I am praying for clarity and for the right opportunity will come along, so that I can go and serve!

We went to the doctor last week and are currently waiting for more results. Then, we are scheduled to take those results and meet with the fertility doctor in Austin next month. This will hopefully be a time for us to sit down and come up with a game plan on how to proceed with treatments. I don't know quickly we start the process, but it will truly be in God's timing. I hope it is soon, but I have learned to trust that even if it isn't, He will provide!